Trusting God – Page 3 – View From My Shoes

Voice of Lies

You can do whatever God has asked you to do. He is there to help you.

I don’t understand how the majority of the time I feel there isn’t anything I can’t do. As a matter of fact, I often get myself in trouble taking on jobs by myself when I really should ask for help. But, why would I ask for help? I can do it myself. I even catch myself refusing help because “I can do it.” Just this week I was moving the patio furniture out to power wash the porch. I was carrying four chairs stacked together. Scott saw me, and came over to help. Through gritted teeth, I refused the help replying, “I’ve got it.” Maybe it is stubbornness; maybe it is over confidence. No matter, 99% of the time, I think I can do anything that is placed in front of me.

The problem is 1% of the time this voice comes in my head and at the worst times. This voice tells me:

You are in over your head.
You are not smart enough to figure this out.
You are not qualified to handle this challenge.
Soon others are going to realize you are incompetent.
I am bad mom.
Scott would be better off with someone who gave him more attention.

The list goes on and on and is very convincing. It is a voice of lies!

I know I’m not alone. This voice of lies speaks to all of us. Even Moses must have heard this same voice. He expressed his self-doubt to the Lord four times in Exodus 3 & 4.

He first asked the Lord, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? The Lord quickly answered, “I will certainly be with you.”
Moses then made my favorite statement. “But suppose they will not believe me.” Suppose, how often do I suppose something – assume that something is true without proof or knowledge?
Moses’ next doubt had some legitimacy which makes it easier to believe, “I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” The Lord tried to prove to Moses where he should put his trust. The Lord responded, “Who has made man’s mouth? … Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”
He should have stopped there, discounted the voice of lies and headed out to do as the Lord had commanded. Instead, he makes one more plea. “Lord, please send someone else.” The beautiful part of this story is while the Lord was angered, He sent Aaron to be with Moses.

I have to say, Moses helps me feel better about myself.

The Lord is the voice of truth and has the answer to every lie that comes into your mind. While it is true that we cannot do some of the hard things in life alone, the rest of the truth is that we have this friend, Jesus, who has promised “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. Read that again. His grace covers our weakness. We can do anything he asks us to do. He will cover for us where we cannot do it alone.

Next time the voice of lies begins to creep into your thoughts, remember the Lord had an answer for every one of Moses’ doubts, and the Word tells us, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8,

As You Wish

Your will be done. Really? Who says that? I tease our sons that the line from Princess Bride, “As you wish.” Should be their go to response for their wives. Whether you prefer “as you wish” or “your will be done,” submission is what the speaker of either phrase is granting someone.

Twice, during prayer, Jesus models this for us. The first time is when Jesus is asked to teach the disciples to pray. In this model prayer Jesus simply states “Your will be done.” (Matt 6:10 & Luke 11:2). Jesus is teaching us to seek God’s will when we pray. The second prayer is when Jesus is praying in the garden. He not only prays this once, but twice that night. “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39). Here Jesus is asking for a pass from the cross and even more so, a pass from taking on of all the sins of the world creating a separation between Him and His father. Then He pauses and says, “nevertheless” or never mind – not my will, but yours.

Praying for God’s will takes courage. Even as a young girl, I was always afraid to just openly pray for God’s will. What if He wanted me to do something crazy like leave my mom and dad and go to the mission field. Don’t judge, it always crossed my mind. In all seriousness, last night as I was out watering plants, I was praying for a break. I was just telling God from the bottom of my heart that I needed a break. I was asking for just one day to take it easy, one day just for me. I will admit, I mentioned a spa day and even possibly a quick weekend getaway. When it suddenly occurred to me how selfishly I was praying. I immediately recognized that I should be praying for the energy and stamina to do what God has placed in front of me, not praying for a break. I had to throw up the same “never mind” that Jesus did when He was praying. I was praying for Angela’s will not God’s will.

I’ve been called out on this before. Once my daughter was dating a guy I didn’t really like. I was praying for every kind of break-up you could imagine. One of them would find someone else, her eyes would be open, his parents would move out of state…. As they were getting a little more serious, I decided to rally the troops. I did what any praying mom would do. I called my best, praying friend and asked her to join me. We know where two or more are gathered, there is power in that prayer. With her help, we would make this breakup happen. However, I didn’t get the response from my friend that I was expecting. She simply asked me if I had thought about praying for this young man and praying that he would develop a relationship with Christ. Ouch, NO! I had not thought about praying that way. I was praying for a breakup. Again, praying for Angela’s will not God’s will.

How do we know God’s will so we can pray that way? Ask. Just simply ask Him and then listen. The more time you spend with Him, the more you will know His will, and the more you will desire to submit to it. Don’t worry, the odds are really slim that He will ask you to sell everything and go to Siberia.

Everyone has a Job to Do.

We are all created to play a role in the body of Christ. Be proud of what you are created to do.

milk I’m embarrassed to tell this story, but this weekend I made a cooking mistake you would expect a 12 year old to make, but not someone who has been putting food on the table for MANY years. I was making macaroni and cheese with my mind on a million other tasks. Right before I put the last cheese in, I thought the pasta had a different smell to it and immediately realized what I had done. I used sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk. I had no idea how this was going to turn out, but went on as planned. We dubbed it dessert mac and cheese. While the concoction was edible, it was really rich and a few bites went a long ways.

While each can is technically a milk product, each serves a completely different purpose. They are amazing when used the right way, but disastrous when used as a substitute for each other. I was reminded that we are the same way. God has created each one of us as an individual with distinct characteristics, but disaster is guaranteed when we try to be something other than what we were created to be. Romans 12:4-6, “For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them;”

While I’m airing all of my dirty laundry, I might as well give you an example. As a teen, I so wanted to be able to sing in church or play the piano. I’m telling you, this is not what I was designed or created to do, but for some crazy reason, I had to give it a try. I’m so glad we didn’t have video cameras in everyone’s hand when I was growing up. I feel pretty safe there is no embarrassing evidence of my futile attempts to sing or play the piano. I’m telling you I cannot even keep a steady beat, but I tried to be something I wasn’t. Fortunately, as is the same with you, I was given other talents that I’m glad I have come to appreciate.

I just wanted to share this hoping you would be encouraged to thrive in the way you were created and use those talents with pride. No one is more or less important in the eyes of Christ. You are special and you are needed in the body of Christ.

Do You See What I See?

tall Scott is a good foot taller than I am. This allows him to not only reach things I cannot even come close to, but also lets him see things from a different perspective. This was proven at Christmas this year. I hid hints around the house to let him know about his Christmas present. The problem is I hid the hints at my eye level not his. They went unnoticed for days. This week I misplaced a receipt. I had looked everywhere for it. When Scott got home from work, I expressed my frustration. Later that evening, he was simply standing in the kitchen, he reached over and retrieved the receipt. I had spent hours looking for it. I would have never seen it there unless I was on a step ladder. (Which also tells me I wasn’t the one that put it there.)

Perspective is an interesting thing. Two people can look at the same item and see it completely differently. What I pray is that I can learn to look at life and people through God’s eyes. Think of when Samuel was sent to anoint a new king. Samuel had all of Jesse’s boys pass before him. First the eldest, Eliab, passed. Samuel thought surely he should be the king. He must have been strong and tall maybe even smart, but those were not the characteristics God wanted in the next king. Samuel then summoned for the others one by one. None of them possessed the one trait that God thought was most important in the next King. Samuel then sent for the remaining son, David, who was out in the fields. The point was that God wanted someone to be King who loved Him with his whole heart. God didn’t want the strongest or best looking. He wanted someone who loved him 100%. In His own words, “Do not look at his appearance or at is physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7.

Samuel was able to put his perspective aside and view the prospective kings through God’s eyes. I would love to say that I view others through God’s eyes only. That I never judge anyone by their looks or by how they are dressed, but as much as I would like for that to be 100% true, it isn’t. I would like to boast that I love everyone I meet and only have kindness in my heart for those I come in contact with every day, but again I cannot. See, I look at others through human eyes, and human eyes are not perfect. Human eyes judge people and put people in categories. It is what we do. What I pray is that while my human eyes may make quick mental judgements, my heart and my actions always show love.

On a more personal level, and thinking about looking through God’s eyes, how does God view me, and do I spend more time preparing for God’s eyes or the eyes of man? I have to admit, the honest answers are not the answers I wish were true.

It’s all in God’s Timing

7CB7EF82-8E8B-49F3-BE25-111DCE307A89 Isn’t it amazing how sometimes you can be in the right place at the right time? There is a new restaurant not far from our house. As you are standing in line waiting to order, they go down the line passing out shake samples. When they run out of samples, the next person in line gets a cow bell. If you ring the cowbell as you are ordering, you get a free order of fries. Twice, I got the last shake sample and Scott got the cowbell. He rang it with full gusto to get his free fries. We were in the right place at the right time.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have watched some young leaders handle difficult situations with amazing confidence and poise. As I have watched these events unfold, it has been affirmed that God has placed these leaders right where He wants them, at the time He wants them for His purpose. It is the most amazing feeling to know that you are right where God wants you, that you are in the center of His plan doing what He has called you to do.

Each and every one of us was created by God for a purpose. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. I believe with all of my heart that God has a plan for you. Your life is important and it matters. Colossians 1:16, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, … All things were created through Him and for Him.” You are not just going through the motions of life. God has a plan for you and it is a wonderful plan full of ways to serve Him. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Like I said earlier, we are often in the right place at the right time because we are where God wants us to be. It might not be for a free order of fries. It might be because someone needs to hear a positive word from you or is in need of an act of kindness that only you can share. Take just a minute to look around and think about how you can serve the Lord right where you are in life at this time, and never forget God had a plan just for you.

Just Trust

I’m learning that Google maps is more trustworthy than my directional skills. Maybe I should learn the same lesson concerning God’s plan.

driving Just recently Scott and I took a weekend road trip. For the majority of the trip, Scott was driving, and I took on the role of navigator. This is not my strongest skill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m great at giving directions. It’s just that my directions are not always great. I would put the destination into Google maps and off we would go until I thought I had a better plan than what was on the map. One time I told Scott to head down the highway for fifty some miles until we came to Hwy 271. In my mind I knew our destination is south or left of our current location. As we approached Hwy 271, it was a right hand turn or north. I told Scott to keep going because that couldn’t be the correct turn. Yes, we got to make a u-turn in about 5 miles and go back to the turn the map told us to take. The road only went north for a few miles before it headed back south. Another time, we were on a 4 lane highway with one-way side roads on each site. I had directions to the hotel pulled up on the map, but it was taking us way past the hotel and entering in on the back side of the hotel. As we approached the hotel, I could see it and there was an exit. I yelled for Scott to exit, he slammed on the breaks and headed for the exit. What do you know, we couldn’t get to the hotel from that exit without hopping over a couple of curbs and driving though the grass. My sudden change in plans took us to another highway and almost landed us on a turnpike headed out of town.

After a couple of days of this, Scott coined the phrase, “Just trust Google and tell me what it says.” Just trust Google? He was right more than once. How hard is it to learn this. It is so similar to the concept – Just trust God’s – how hard is that? When will I learn?

I find this the hardest when I can’t see immediate results. I think back to the two years it took us to sell our house and get moved to Edmond, more than once I questioned God’s plan and would try to develop one on my own. I also struggle when I’m not seeing the results I had in mind. This was evident when my kids were teenagers. For example instead of completely trusting God, who loves them more than I do, I would begin to doubt if morning devotions were worth the fight or if having a family scripture of the week was more for me or them. While I was praying and superficially trusting God, I would often think to myself, “This isn’t working.” God has a plan for us that is as clear as the blue line on Google maps. It is up to us to trust Him and follow the plan.

There are so many places to put our trust other than the Lord. Maybe it is your savings account that you trust for your future finances. Maybe it is your physical appearance you trust to create your importance. Psalm 20:7 explains this, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” Psalms is full of scripture on trusting the Lord, but the scripture that keeps me grounded is Proverbs 3:5 & 6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” We know that God’s ways are higher than our ways and we just have to trust Him. He has proven Himself over and over.

I Could Have Killed Him

In my effort to win the “Wife of the Year” award, I try really hard to fix supper on the nights I’m home and to pack a lunch for Scott and I Monday thru Thursday. Last Tuesday, I roasted a chicken in the Instant Pot for dinner and then for our lunches, I took the chicken we didn’t eat to make chicken salad sandwiches. I have done this successfully in the past. I simply put the leftover pieces of chicken in the Ninja, grind them up, add some pecans, grapes and dressing – voila, chicken salad. I’m telling you, the sandwiches looked devine as I packed them in our lunch bags for the next day. However looks can be deceiving.

When it came time to eat my sandwich the next day, about two bites in I came across what I thought was a pecan shell. No problem. While this is hard to describe without sounding gross, I separated the shell from my food and discarded it into my napkin so I could continue eating. It was in the very next bite, I came across what I thought was piece of shell number two. This time after I placed the piece in my napkin, I took a little peek at it. sorry for the grossness, but true story. I was a little bewildered, because the piece didn’t really look like a pecan shell. However as an obviously slow learner, I kept eating my sandwich. I was two more bites in, when it happened again. This time I had to thoroughly investigate. It was clear what had happened. I had ground up a chicken bone while making the chicken salad. I threw my sandwich away and quickly called Scott to warn him. I was too late. He had already eaten his sandwich even though he had actually discovered a small bone piece similar in size to a broken off toothpick. If you know Scott, it won’t surprise you that he ate the sandwich despite finding a bone in it.

All I could think about was how many times have I heard, “Never feed your dogs chicken bones because they splinter and will puncture the dog’s intestines.” I quickly googled what happens if you eat a chicken bone. The articles that popped up were centered around a dog eating a chicken bone. I learned the signs I should be watching for included:

Vomiting or retching
Drooling or panting
Restlessness and looking uncomfortable
Tiredness, reluctance to move
Refusing to eat
Stretching repeatedly or moving oddly
Whining, crying when his tummy is touched
Bleeding from his bottom, diarrhea, or straining to empty his bowels
Other behavior that you don’t normally see in your dog (such are growling) and that might indicate pain or discomfort

I didn’t know how many of those symptoms I might see in Scott so I continued my research based more specifically around humans, I learned that in a few unlucky patients, swallowing a chicken bone causes serious problems. About 10-20% would need to undergo foreign body extraction through endoscopy. Furthermore, about 1% of patients end up in the operating room to undergo major surgery for serious complications. These include intestinal perforation, bowel obstruction, internal bleeding (hemorrhage), abdominal infection (peritonitis), and abscess formation (pus collection). These complications often develop a few days after ingestion of the chicken bone. All we could do now was wait….

Obviously, all is well, no surgery required although my “wife of the year” status is in great jeopardy. While we laugh about it now, there were a few minutes where the worry trait that I inherited from my mom and grandma came rushing over me full force. If I told you some of the what if’s that went through my mind, you would be convinced I was partially crazy. I must admit this worry factor can be a real problem. I notice it more and more the older I get. Just last week (after we survived the chicken bones), I was in Mobile holding my beautiful, 4 month old grandbaby. I caught myself at one point looking at her and becoming preoccupied with worry. I thought of everything that could happen to her from the flu to cancer. I had to literally push those thoughts from my mind.

The number of scriptures that tell us not to worry are more numerous than I can list here, but there are a few worth mentioning. Matthew 6 and Luke 12 both record Jesus speaking to His disciples about worry. These passages include such phrases as:

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink nor about your body what you will put on
The heavenly Father knows what you need, so seek first the kingdom of God
Do not worry about tomorrow
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature
Do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink nor have an anxious mind

It is also in these passages where Jesus references the birds of the air and the lilies of the valley compared to us as an example of how He takes care of them and accordingly He will so much more take care of us.

There is also:

Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you.”

All of these scriptures based on worry and anxiety tells me two things. One, I’m not alone. Jesus knew this was a real problem for many or He wouldn’t have put it in the Bible so many times. Two, there are too many wonderful experiences in life to waste any time at all in worry and fear. Not that this comes naturally or easily, but I’m committed to keeping my mind worry free. Now this doesn’t mean if I ever think I have done something to put our lives in jeopardy again I won’t Google what to do or what to look for, but I won’t let the worry consume my day.

How Much are you Worth?

The drive to Woodward is a trek I have made more times than I can count since I moved for sale away 30 some years ago. I visited my mom and dad on a somewhat regular basis, but during the two years Scott and I were dating, I headed down highway 270 at least once a month. One of the interesting sites along the road is this pasture with multiple cars parked out by the highway. For some reason, I always notice these cars as they mark the spot where I am about 7 miles from home. These cars have been parked here for years. Really, I’ve glanced at these cars as I drove by for as long as I can remember. I’ve never seen anyone stop and look at them as if they might want to purchase them. I’ve never seen a sign marking the price or a price reduction. They are just sitting there waiting to be purchased.

As we have been trying to sell our house, it is very clear that a house or any object is only worth what someone is willing to pay. It doesn’t really matter what you paid for it originally, how much you have spent on improvements, or how much the house next door sold for. What really matters is the amount a buyer is willing to pay at the time you want to sell. Clearly, no one is willing to pay for these vehicles what the buyer is asking. I don’t even know if there is an engine in either one of them. If the farmer that lives here wants to move these cars out of his field, he is going to have to lower the price to what someone is willing to pay.

I must admit there have been times in my life where I felt like these cars. I felt what I had to offer was not of value to anyone or worthy enough to be desired. These feelings have popped up at different times in my life. First as a young mother who had no idea what I was doing. I was convinced that all other mothers were much more equipped for the job than I was. I identified so many mistakes in my parenting skills, I couldn’t see any value in myself. There have been other times when I tried to judge my value based on what I saw in the mirror. All I could see were the faults that lowered my value in my mind. There is no good that can come from those thoughts. I also battle with the misconception that I can somehow increase my value by the possessions I own. The thought that a designer purse will make be a better person is nothing but a lie.

A low point in my value meter came at a time in my career when I faced on a daily basis criticism and rejection. I truly began to believe I was inept and unqualified for the position I held. Fortunately, during these times, either through scripture or through friends who encouraged me and lifted me up, I was able to regain my confidence and realize I was beautifully and wonderfully made.

As I was writing this, I pulled out my journal to find the scriptures I leaned on during these times. I wanted to share just a few with you.

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Put it in God’s hands and then our thoughts can be free from worry – Angela’s version (AV)

Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Okay, God is talking to the Israelites, but He is the same God today as He was yesterday. I don’t have to be afraid and worry. He will take care of me. – AV

Psalm 56:4 “In God I have put my trust, I will not fear. What can mere mortals do to me?” My value comes from God not man. My trust is in Him, not those around me – AV

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.” Whether I feel like an inadequate mother, a humdrum dresser, or that I’m in over my head at work, God has placed me here for a purpose and that purpose is to carry out his plan. I am valuable because I have a plan to carryout. – AV

I want to wrap up with a point that contradicts Economics 101. Our value isn’t based on supply and demand, determined by what others desire or set through our own critical viewpoint. Our value is based on our creator and the price that was paid for our salvation. Like a piece of art, the value increases based on the quality of the artist. We were created in the image of God by the creator of the universe for a specific purpose. How could we be anything but of the highest quality?

Save Me from Myself

Sometimes I just need to stop and think.

phone Last Tuesday was just one of those days. It started out in typical fashion. I was headed to work, thinking through my day when I noticed the display panel on my car read “no phone connected.” At the same time, I saw the perfect place to turn around. With breaks squealing, I whirled my car around and headed back home. I called Scott on my watch and began telling him all the places to start looking for my phone. The whole time I was giving him directions, I distinctly remembered putting my phone in my purse before I left. As Scott looked in all my usual phone forgetting spots, I then and only then thought to look in my purse. I was almost back to the house by now when what do you know? I had my phone with me the whole time. If I would have only stopped to think before I reacted and whipped my car around, I could have saved myself 15-20 minutes that morning.

While my day was uneventful, I had one task to accomplish Tuesday night. Print our Letter Christmas letters and stuff them in the envelopes. There is a little more involved than it sounds. You have to adjust the print to match the outline of the stationery. As I thought I had everything lined up perfectly, I noticed one line began with “I went to Denver.” I couldn’t imagine why I would have typed such a statement. I did’t go to Denver by myself. I quickly, without thinking or reading the statement in context, changed the I to We and printed 87 copies of our Christmas letter. As I was stuffing envelopes, Scott picked up the letter and began reading it. He got a puzzled look on his face and read out loud. “Scott and we went to Denver???” See, the words Scott and were on the line above and I didn’t notice them. The sentence originally read Scott and I went to Denver, but I changed the I to we. I now faced the decision of whether to send out the letter with the terribly ugly mistake or head off to Hobby Lobby. Well, we ended up going to three Hobby Lobby’s that night to find enough of the right stationery that matched the cards. Again, if I would have taken only a brief second to read the entire sentence before I hastily made the change, I could have saved myself a couple of hours of grief.

I just want to say for the record there are an equal number of times when I amaze myself with really wise decisions. These times I give credit to God, but it is proof I am not a complete idiot 100% of the time. However, when those embarrassing decisions are made, I just want to scream because the mistake could have so easily been prevented if I would have just stopped for 2-3 seconds to think. Now the examples I have written about tonight have been with little consequences, but this isn’t always the case. If we don’t stop and think, pray or seek Godly counsel, we can easily do the same thing with bigger, life changing decisions.

Take Esau for example, he was convinced he was going to starve so what was it going to hurt if he gave away his birthright. Do you think he really thought that decision through? Sometimes we are so blinded by our problem, we can’t think clearly. We let the problem be so big, we don’t look for the best solution. We just look for the quickest solution. In Genesis 12 Abram was fleeing a famine. As they entered Egypt, he became concerned that he would be killed because his wife Sarai was so beautiful. With the fear of death staring him in the face, he makes a horrible decision. He asks Sarai to lie and say she is his sister. You know the rest of the story. Since Pharaoh thinks she is single, he takes her into his house. Really, you are going to ask your wife to lie so you won’t be killed. Again, fear was guiding the decision. Not trust or faith.

I was so mad when I thought I left my phone at home, I just whipped my car around and headed back. Esau was so hungry, he wasn’t thinking past getting the immediate need of hunger met. Abram was so scared, he put both of their lives in danger. All of these situations had other options. I just needed to look in my purse. Esau could have fixed his own meal. Abram forgot honesty is always the best policy.

At this time of year, There are plenty of problems and fears to go around. It could be the desire to buy that perfect Christmas gift that causes us to spend more than we have or the length of the Holiday to do list that influences us to skip our devotion or take short-cuts at work. Maybe you have desired to be accepted by others to the point that you sacrificed your principles or just as Abram in the face of fear, dishonesty seemed much easier than the truth.

I pray each day that not only will I represent Christ in everything I do, but that I will make wise decisions that keep me in His will. I need Jesus to save me from myself because my decisions are dangerous.

He has This Under Control

We never know what life is going to throw our way, but God has it under control.

How can it be such a typical day until a sudden change of events happens that completely catches you unprepared? This happened to me the other day. It was just an ordinary day at work. I came home expecting the routine of fixing supper, maybe going for a walk, watching tv and/or working on the computer for a while. However, as I was pulling in the driveway, I stopped to get the mail only to find a letter from the IRS. I never get mail from the IRS, so it was the first letter I opened. I had to look at it several times to make sure it was real. It was a bill for $174,893.00. Yes, I have the decimal point in the right place. I know, I had to look twice too. IRS

Strangely, I didn’t get upset about this surprise. This could be due to a number of reasons:

The absurdity of it. How can you owe more than you make? Evidently you can. But it just couldn’t be correct. There had to be some kind of mistake.
I’ve been through something similar before and after a couple days of prayer, it worked out. I will tell you that story next.
I’ve heard you can make payments to the IRS for the rest of your life if you have to and they can’t take your house or anything like that.

These thoughts literally went through my mind as I was reading the letter again and again. Oh, and Scott is going to flip out when he sees this. It is one thing to get a big bill that you are prepared for. For example in August I expect the water bill or the electric bill to be higher than normal and there is always this nervous anticipation as I open it. However, this was a complete shock.

Similarly in 2013 only months after Jeff had passed away, I was going to meet with our accountant to get my taxes figured by myself for the very fist time. As a matter of fact, I had to google where her office was because I had never done this before. I felt very confident that I had everything I needed and would get money back as usual. I still had the farm and although I’m sure I couldn’t find every receipt from Jeff’s wonderful filing system that consisted of sticking receipts in the glove box, in the basket by the door… I was confident I had the majority of expenses documented. As I was driving to her office, I was making plans for how I was going to spend my refund. I committed a certain amount to a bible project the church was working on, going to donate some to a charity that was important to our family and I was going to by myself a nice ring to wear where I had worn my wedding ring. That was going in.

Coming out, all I could do was thank the Lord that even though I owed an amount equivalent to a modest salary or equivalent to the purchase of a new car, I did have the money in an account to pay it. I remember praying all the way home and just thanking God that no mater that I owed, He had already provided for me to pay this bill. The money to pay the bill was in the same account that turned out to be the problem. When I called my financial adviser to get the money out, he couldn’t understand how I could owe taxes. He did some checking for me and found out that when Jeff’s retirement was rolled to a non-taxed account, the IRS form had been marked incorrectly and I was being taxed as if that money was income. Once I got the corrected form and sent it to my tax lady, guess what? I was getting a return. It is times like this that has proven to me over and over that God is faithful.

Back to my new tax experience. Because of the fact that so many times in my life God has been faithful, this one didn’t seem to rattle me. Now Scott’s reaction was a little different. At first he didn’t believe me. He thought I was saying it wrong. He had to take the paper from my hand and look at himself. I have no doubt in his mind he was wondering how he was going to cover my debt. He knows I don’t have that much in my savings account. He started asking me a thousand questions about 2015 that I couldn’t begin answer. He was already working on a payment plan in his head and I’m sure wondering what he got himself into. Remember we had just celebrated our 1 year anniversary the week this letter came in the mail. To put your mind at ease, the bill had something to do with the sale of the farm. The IRS did not realize it was my primary residence. It cost me $50 to refile my 2015 taxes and all should be well.

What I can tell you is no matter what you suddenly find yourself going through, the death of a family member in a car wreck, an unexpected diagnosis, a child that has decided to live a lifestyle in ways he/she was not raised, or a spouse that has decided he/she isn’t in love with you any more, God has it under control. Life isn’t always fun, but through time, He provides a light at the end of the tunnel.

You know, there are lots of places we can put our trust. We can put our trust in a savings account or we can put our trust in our jobs. I will say there was a time where I put my trust in the fact that I had “followed all the rules.” How could anything bad happen to me because I had lived my life according to all of the church rules. I have found there is only one place you can put your trust and that is in God. As a warrior going into battle, King David states in Psalms 20:7, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” King David knew where he had to put his trust during battle when his and his men’s lives were literally on the line. An extremely large tax bill does not equate to going into a physical battle during King David’s time, but where we put our trust is still the same. We need to put our trust in the only person capable of such responsibility.