Relationships – View From My Shoes

Your Coffee Cup – Gratitude or Envy

Life is too short to not enjoy what you have or to always compare what you have with others.

In Matthew 20 there is a parable about a farmer who employs workers to work in the field for the day. Later in the day he finds more help available. Then again towards the end of the day he brings on even more workers. When everyone finishes that evening, all workers are paid the same daily wage.

Those contracted early that morning, although they were paid what they were promised, were upset that those who only worked a few hours received the same pay.

While this parable is most often associated with God’s grace and how His grace is for everyone equally no matter how long or to what extent they have served God, there is also a component of gratitude. Instead of gratefulness for their ability to work and that payment received, all the original workers could think about was that others didn’t work as long and were paid the same.

So often we do the same. Instead of being grateful for what we have, we look at others and want what they have. We want those shoes, that vacation, the life that seems so much easier than ours.

To illustrate this, I have a cabinet full of coffee cups that I cannot bring myself to get rid of even though I use very few of them. When I look at each cup, I am reminded of the person who gifted me the cup or the place where the cup was purchased. What I wonder is if I placed one of my coffee cups next to yours, what would I think about your cup?

Would I look at your cup and wonder if I could do something to fill it. Do you need more coffee? Maybe you need some sugar or some cream. Would I look at your cup and celebrate how lovely your fine china is compared to my seven dollar Buc-ee’s mug? OR even more disappointing, would I look into your cup just to make sure it didn’t have something in it that I didn’t have?

Can I truly share excitement for my co-worker when she gets a new purse to add to her collection while I currently can’t make that type of purchase? Can I honestly celebrate and enjoy hearing from a friend about how well her children are doing, when I have a child who is struggling?

Where do we fix our thoughts? There will always be someone who possesses more than you or appears to be living a better life than yours. Are you first satisfied and grateful with what God has given you? Does the love in your heart come through allowing you to look at others with enjoyment or empathy instead of envy.

Read through James 4:1-8 carefully. Maybe even write it out. “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. … Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.”

So, how do we learn to gaze at the cups others wield so apparently effortlessly with genuine excitement? We draw close to God and seek to have a heart of humility.

If you have God, you have enough.

Can’t Share What You Don’t Have

If you want to share Jesus with others, you personal experiences are the best place to start.

When Scott and I are enjoying a meal out, I often encourage him to order something extra. For example, I might prod, “I bet their onion rings are good here; maybe you should order some.” He knows full well, I plan on eating some of those onion rings. Same is true with dessert. “ Did you save room for dessert? They have your favorite.” If he doesn’t order it, how can he share it with me?

If you don’t have the love of Jesus, how can you share it? If you don’t spend time in the word and in prayer, how can you share those experiences with others?

In 2 Peter 1, Peter is writing to share the faith and encourage the church. He tells us to keep growing in knowledge, to live a godly and moral life which God will help us do, to love everyone, and God will give us a grand entrance into His eternal kingdom. He tells the church he will keep reminding them of these things and then in verse 15 he states, “So I will work hard to make sure you always remember these things after I am gone.” Peter had something to share and he wasn’t going to quit.

This year for Advent, Scott and I sent a short, daily video to our grandkids to help make the Christmas story memorable. We videoed from a different spot in the house each day starting out with a funny comment and the Christmas cout down. We would next read from the Bible interrupting each other with commentary and then end with a goofy salutation such as “Be sweet Parakeet.” I completely understand what Peter is saying in verse 15. I too want to keep sharing Jesus with my family and others so they will understand what is so special about living a faith filled life. I will share my love for Christ and tell my grandkids about all God has done for me over and over again. It is that important to me.

I have however realized that you cannot share what you don’t have. If you don’t have personal experiences with Christ, how do you tell friends at work about Christ? If you are not reading the Bible and learning more and more about God’s word, how do you share that with your neighbors?

As this year comes to a close and you prepare for 2026, think about your plan to grow in your understanding of God’s truths. Create a strategy to daily spend time growing in your knowledge of Him and reflecting on His unimaginable love for you. Write out your plan and commit to it.

Remember, James 4:8 tells us, “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” Lean in to God in 2026 and share what you learn with others.

Three Essentials

If I could only tell someone three things about God, this is what they would be.

Recently Scott and I went on a super quick, unexpected overnight trip. We had nothing planned other than to just get out of town. Time to pack did not exist. I first and foremost grabbed my toothbrush. I also threw in a change of clothes, and snatched up my book bag on the way out the door. Despite the rushed exit, it was one of our most relaxing getaways ever, and I had the essentials I needed.

If I only had a few minutes to tell someone about Jesus, what three things would I tell them? Knowing I didn’t have time to plan and outline the whole story starting with Adam and Eve, through Abraham and into the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus, not to leave out all the wonderful stories of the old testament and the new testament church, what would I tell someone?

You are loved!

You are loved with a vast love that is impossible to completely understand. Ephesians 3:18-19 tells us, “ May you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God”

You may not feel lovable, you may not have experienced the love you are worthy of in past relationships, but God’s love is real and is there for you. That is the first concept I would want everyone to hear. Just like having my toothbrush is essential for an overnight stay, knowing that God loves you is the linchpin to understanding Him. He made you uniquely just the way you are and loves you unconditionally. You are designed by Him for His purpose.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;” Psalms 139:14

God Loves YOU!!!

You are forgiven!

No matter what ugly darkness is in your past, you will be forgiven if you ask. 1 John 1:9 tells us, “If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

God is so willing to forgive us. His word tells us over and over again that our sins will be forgiven. Not just forgiven, Isaiah 55:7 says they are generously forgiven. Colossians 2:13-15 says the record is cancelled for ALL of our sins. Hebrews 8:12 says our sins will never be remembered again. I don’t know why, but accepting that God has forgiven us is sometimes easier than forgiving, ourselves?

Last week I made an extremely selfish decision. I was disappointed in myself. I confessed; I know I’m forgiven. Unfortunately, I’ve had to repent for this before which is so humiliating. Here I am doing it again. I keep reliving that moment and wishing I could go back and redo that extremely selfish moment. I am forgiven; it is in the past. I know that. Yet, I am still struggling to let it go. There is freedom in forgiveness. We have to step into that and trust we are forgiven as well as forgive ourselves.

I pray that you can accept your forgiveness and give yourself the grace that God has so generously given us.

You are not alone!

This journey of life is hard. I look around and see the hurt and loss that people have to suffer through, and my heart breaks. The good news is, we don’t have to live life alone; God is ALWAYS with us. Yes, even in those times when I would lie in bed thinking I had to get these tears to stop or my face would be a swollen mess the next day. Yes, even when problems were flying at me faster than I could count and many with no foreseeable answers. God was with me. God’s quiet, unintrusive Spirit is always there.

He doesn’t stand up and yell, wave his hands and say, “Look, I’m over here.” No, He is the calm that can be felt when you stop and take a deep breath. He is the peace that is under all the chaos. He is there just as he promised, patiently waiting to be recognized. We have to learn to look for Him, but He is there, and His Spirit will guide you.

“This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you where you go.” Joshua 1:9

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.” John 14:16

“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5

Right now, stop and take a deep breath. Sit in quiet stillness with God and know you are loved, you are forgiven and you are not alone.

My Story Podcast (or part of it)

Here is the link to a recent podcast where I was invited to share my story.

I was recently invited to join our pastor on his Up and to the Right Podcast. I wanted to share it with my followers.

Many of you read my blog faithfully. This podcast will give you a deeper look into my heart and part of my life.

Up and To the Right Podcast

Finding Faith When It’s Hard to Go to Church

Life isn’t easy, and we have to do hard things. There have been times when going to church was one of those hard things. God is faithful when we commit and remain faithful even in the hard times.

I half-way jokingly tell people that getting out of bed is the hardest thing I do each day. I love to sleep in and hate getting out of bed in the mornings. However, I force myself to do it. Now, once I’m up, I’m up. I’m not the type who takes hours to get going, and I never sleep-in to the point that I am late. It just takes work to get out of bed.

There have been times in my life where going to church was much harder than it should be. Just like getting out of bed, I had to force myself to go. First was when my kids were little. It was so much work to get ready and out the door. We did it Monday through Friday, but Sunday just seemed harder. Another time was when my late husband was sick. You would think that would be a time to lean in and get yourself to church. Unfortunately, I would go to church, hear people laughing and joking, and I just wanted to turn around and leave. Then praise and worship would start, and all I could do was stand there and cry. I would think to myself, “I can cry at home, why am I coming to church just to cry?”

Thirdly, sometimes when my job would put me in the news or the center of some controversy, I did not want to go to church or I wanted to slide in late and leave early. I would worry that people were making judgements about me based on news coverage rather than who I really am. From the time I walked in the door until the time I left, I unrealistically felt all eyes were on me. I might embarrassingly add a fourth reason. There were times I didn’t want to go to church because I thought I didn’t have anything to wear.

Yes, looking at these reasons now, they seem silly or vain, but at the time the struggles were real. Going to church, the event that I should be looking forward to all week, the event that should feed my soul and strengthen me for the upcoming week, was a chore that I had to force myself to do. I can also look back now and see how God was faithful and honored my willingness to force myself to go to church even when I didn’t feel like it.

I’m writing this today because I know there are others who currently find going to church hard. I just want to encourage you to take a deep breath, get in the car, and get yourself to church. Easter is coming and it is a wonderful time to be in church.

I sit here and reflect back on the feelings when I left church during those hard times. After hearing God’s word and spending time in His presence, I never regretted the decision to go. I’m thankful those seasons were short and numbered. I want to encourage you. If you are in a season where church seems like a place you don’t want to be, a place where you have been hurt, or a place that feels uncomfortable, find a way to keep going or to try it again.

Hebrews 10:23-25 tells us “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

As mentioned above Hebrews 10:25 directs us to not neglect meeting together. I can tell you from personal experience that God will honor your faithfulness. If you are struggling, please feel free to comment, email me, or message me. I would love to hear your story.

Passionately Share Your Faith

I love sharing my food and allowing others to enjoy. Why do we not share Jesus with the same passion?

When you get your food at a restaurant, do you sometimes want everyone at the table to try it? I know, some people like to share food more than others. Scott and I share bites almost every time we eat out somewhere new. I find myself saying, “You have to try this.” Scott of course will do the same. It isn’t because we don’t want to eat what we ordered. It is because the food is amazing, and we want each other to taste it and enjoy.

Shouldn’t we feel the same about our experience with Jesus. Most of you reading this blog, have experienced what it is like to be with Jesus. You have experienced what it is like to feel His peace in the midst of a crisis. You know what it is like to see Him miraculously meet your financial need. You remember a time when He made the impossible happen. If we know and have experienced something this wonderful, why do we not passionately share it with others? For me, I personally want my friends to know and understand how peaceful it is trusting that God has a plan for my life. I want them to know that they can rest with Him. We don’t have to figure this world out on our own.

In John chapter four, Jesus meets up with a woman at a well. After their conversation she goes running back to town telling everyone about what she just experienced. She isn’t keeping this life changing event to herself. She is telling everyone she knows. Verse 39 states, “Many of the Samaritans from the town believed in Him because of the woman’s testimony.”

If you know Jesus, you have something to share and tell others. You should be actively looking for ways to tell others about what you have. Make a list of times God has been there for you. Write down what He did that others need to know. Then like the woman at the well, tell anyone you can when God gives you the opportunity to do so.

I do want to point out one major difference between sharing food and sharing Jesus. When sharing your food, there is a limited supply. By sharing with others at the table, you give up what would be yours. This isn’t the case with Jesus. Telling others about Jesus and sharing your faith, does not take away anything from you. Jesus’ love, forgiveness, grace… is unlimited. Share it!

Why is Something so Easy, so Hard?

Yesterday started off as a better than usual day. When I pulled up to the window at Starbucks, I was informed my drink had been paid for by the person in front of me. You know, this act of kindness works best in a drive-through line. A couple of times I have been fortunate enough for a kind person to purchase my pop at 7-11. In these cases, it is always a little awkward. I first try to convince them it’s not necessary to pay for my pop. Then I thank them over and over, as they pay my bill, before walking out of the store usually at the same time and thanking them again until I get in my car. There actually is the ability to deny the acceptance of the gift, and there is no anonymity. However, at the drive-through window, accepting the gift is the only option. It is already paid for.

Forgiveness is the same way. It is already paid for and is there just waiting on us to accept it. This is true for everyone, but why then do we sometimes not accept the gift that was paid for and given to us? Maybe you say to yourself, “I will never do that again.” Like that makes it okay while only deceiving yourself. Furthermore, thinking you have the power in yourself to change the behavior. Maybe you choose to not accept the gift and just live with the guilt either because you think you are not worthy or you think forgiveness is meant not for you. My personal favorite is to just pretend something never happened. If it never happened, I don’t have to deal with it.

The directions for forgiveness are clear. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8 – 9). The word that gets me is “confess.” This requires acknowledging that I actually did something wrong. It requires that I admit I’m not perfect. This isn’t easy for me. However, if I never decided to get a Starbucks yesterday, I never would have received my free gift. We have to make a conscious decision to confess our sins in order to receive the free gift of forgiveness. Would you leave a gift under the Christmas tree, unwrapped and unclaimed? I wouldn’t! Don’t leave the freedom that forgiveness provides on the table just because you are not willing to confess or admit your mistakes.

Everyone has a Job to Do.

We are all created to play a role in the body of Christ. Be proud of what you are created to do.

milk I’m embarrassed to tell this story, but this weekend I made a cooking mistake you would expect a 12 year old to make, but not someone who has been putting food on the table for MANY years. I was making macaroni and cheese with my mind on a million other tasks. Right before I put the last cheese in, I thought the pasta had a different smell to it and immediately realized what I had done. I used sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk. I had no idea how this was going to turn out, but went on as planned. We dubbed it dessert mac and cheese. While the concoction was edible, it was really rich and a few bites went a long ways.

While each can is technically a milk product, each serves a completely different purpose. They are amazing when used the right way, but disastrous when used as a substitute for each other. I was reminded that we are the same way. God has created each one of us as an individual with distinct characteristics, but disaster is guaranteed when we try to be something other than what we were created to be. Romans 12:4-6, “For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them;”

While I’m airing all of my dirty laundry, I might as well give you an example. As a teen, I so wanted to be able to sing in church or play the piano. I’m telling you, this is not what I was designed or created to do, but for some crazy reason, I had to give it a try. I’m so glad we didn’t have video cameras in everyone’s hand when I was growing up. I feel pretty safe there is no embarrassing evidence of my futile attempts to sing or play the piano. I’m telling you I cannot even keep a steady beat, but I tried to be something I wasn’t. Fortunately, as is the same with you, I was given other talents that I’m glad I have come to appreciate.

I just wanted to share this hoping you would be encouraged to thrive in the way you were created and use those talents with pride. No one is more or less important in the eyes of Christ. You are special and you are needed in the body of Christ.

What is forgiveness?

dillards Okay, don’t judge, but I’m still reading on the book that I referenced several months ago. It is a 28 day study of the Lord’s prayer. Yes, I’m going on about 4 months working on this study. This is partly because I have read some sections a couple of times, partly because I’ve set the book aside for days at a time, and partly because I have to divide up what I am to read each day. Anyway, I’m to the part of the study pertaining to the line “Forgive our sins as we forgive those that trespass against us” As I read this chapter, I arrogantly began to make a mental list of all the people I have forgiven. I was reminded of how I had been treated at various times in my life, how God had been faithful through those times, and how I was better off by going through those experiences despite what others had done to me. After several minutes of patting myself on the back, I put the study aside for the night and went to bed.

While shopping a few days later, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a person that was on my list of those forgiven. As soon as I saw this person, my stomach jumped up into my throat or my heart fell down into my stomach. Whatever happened, my insides were a mess. There was an obvious physical reaction to just seeing this person. Being the strong confident woman that I am and because I have completely forgiven this person, I did what any normal person would do. I ducked behind the clothes rack and moved from clothes rack to clothes rack until I was out of the store.

Driving home, it occured to me that maybe I haven’t forgiven this person to the degree I thought I had. If my emotions when I saw this person were strong enough to cause a physical reaction, maybe I haven’t forgiven to the degree I need to. This caused my mind to go all kinds of places. As a matter of fact. I have waited several weeks to write this because I don’t have the answer. I have often heard, “forgive, but don’t forget.” To me that has meant forgive someone that maybe has taken advantage of you, but don’t let them do it again. Now, like I said, I don’t have the answers, but I know of a specific time when a co-worker would pawn work off on me. Once, as I was praying and practicing how I was going to tell this person off refusing to do her work anymore, I felt clearly corrected and reprimanded that I was to show kindness and was to continue helping her in as many ways as possible. In reverse order to help with my current delima, I decided, when all else fails, go to the Word.

Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4 both give us direction concerning forgiveness. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31 & 32. This first reminds me how wrong it is when I have wished for someone that hurt me to be equally or to an even greater extent hurt themselves. I know this is wrong, and I have to control those thoughts. I will admit the best way I have found to get those thoughts under control is to pray for the person who hurt me. It is really hard to think evil against someone as you pray for them.

Aside from working on being kind and putting away my hate to the point where I don’t have to hide in the store, I want to focus on the last phrase in Ephesians 32. “Forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you.” When God forgives us, our sins are completely forgotten. “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12. “You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19. I don’t know that I can forgive like this. As a matter of fact, I know I can’t. Not me, not me alone. To truly forgive in this manner, I will require God’s help. I can’t say I fully understand how you forgive someone that has done something unthinkable to you or to someone you love. I’m working on this, but I do think I am to the point where I won’t hide behind the clothes racks at the store in order to avoid talking to a person.

Playing by the Rules

One of our favorite family pastimes is to play cards. I have so many memories as a child playing cards with my family. My dad was quite the card player. He could tell you any card that had been picked up and was certain to let you know if you weren’t paying attention and played into someone’s hand. We had the most laughs at the expense of my sister. She would pick up any face card whether it went with her hand or not. She just couldn’t let one pass by.

As a child, intense conversations focused around not paying attention or not playing smart, however, as a mother, my family found different points to argue. It usually centered around who was cheating. For some reason, my kids believed if you were winning, you had to be cheating. I will say with 98% honesty that I never cheated. Now, if you were not aware enough to hold your cards where they couldn’t be seen, that was your own fault and fair game. Other than that, I always played by the rules.

Playing by the rules is something I have done all of my life. I don’t know if I am just afraid to break the rules or if following rules provides order to my life, but I am a rule follower through and through. I even make up rules to follow such donuts are only allowed on Friday.

The problem is, I somehow began to put my trust in following the rules instead of in God’s grace. I think I got confused along the way and really believed if I followed all of the rules, nothing bad would happen or if I followed all of the rules, I would find favor with God. For the most part, the rules were biblical rules, but some were institutional rules. No matter, I followed them – all of them. Now don’t get me wrong, following the rules set forth in the Bible is the way to go. John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commands.” I would do it all over again. In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul writes, “As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God,” However, following the rules did not protect me from life.

I was extremely fortunate to live in the perfect “Polly Anna” world most of my life. Then my kids became teenagers and what do you know, they weren’t perfect. I began to ask questions and doubt my actions. How could this happen? We went to church every time the doors were open. We had family devotions every morning…. What rule had I missed that would cause this imperfection? After that, the unexplainable happened and cancer hit our family head on. I first wanted to ask why? or how? I had done my part, I had followed the rules. What I was soon to learn, was following the rules couldn’t protect me, but there was a God that could. Maybe you have been treated unfairly at work, been hurt by a spouse, or faced financial hardships. God might not keep any number of painful events from happening, but he would walk beside you all of the way. Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.”

I had to learn it was really about my relationship with Him. It was about His love for me. It wasn’t about how many rules I had kept or broken.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are blessings and rewards for those that keep God’s commands. I James 20:25 confirms that if you are a doer of the word (follow the rules) you will be blessed in what you do. The problem is we can’t follow the rules just to receive blessings or just to be protected from the ugly part of life. We follow the rules because of our relationship with God and because of how much we love Him.

Maybe I should make up a rule about following rules. All I know is that we can never do enough to earn what God freely gives us.