God’s Love – Page 2 – View From My Shoes

Enjoy the Present Season

Christmas can be full of joy or full of pain and hurt. Make it the best possible by choosing to be present.

Wellness is a topic we hear about frequently. At work we are actually taking the eight dimensions of wellness, and looking at a separate component each month. As I was putting up Christmas decorations last weekend and going through all of the emotions involved there, I was reminded of the importance of being present which is a piece of emotional wellness.

We know the importance of being present. Psalm 118:24 tells us “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” There is a need to focus on the here and now and there are many tools that can help us do that such a journaling, meditation…. What I want to write about instead of the act of being present is what being present is NOT.

Being present is NOT dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This was particularly hard for me this year as I was decorating. Every ornament I pulled out of the box, every item that I sat on a shelf, every stocking that I hung, brought back a memory tied to a Christmas of the past. Christmases with my grandma and all of my cousins packing around the “kids” table out in the back washroom. Christmases when my children were at home and helped me decorate the tree. The list and memories go on and on causing me to not be satisfied with what Christmas looks like now, this year, because it doesn’t look like what it used to.

For me, spending time thinking about the past Christmases brings fond memories that I deeply miss and wish I could recreate. For others, when you are dwelling on the past, you may be experiencing thoughts of regret. Maybe it is regret over things you said or did. Maybe Christmases in your past bring up memories of deep hurt. As you continue to roll through these memories and thoughts on repeat, you recreate anger, hurt, or all the feelings of the past that keep you from enjoying your today.

Christmas is a special season. Not only a season to celebrate with family, but also a season to give special recognition to the fact that God sent his son to earth to die on the cross so that we can be redeemed and be forgiven of our sins.

Whether memories are joyful or painful, we cannot let our minds stay in the past. You cannot focus on the present, when you are reliving the past. The same is true if you are worried about what next year will look like. Thinking about what could have been or what might have been doesn’t create joy or honor what God desires for us. We have to be present with what is right now. While my heart aches for the Christmases of the past, I choose to live and enjoy the Christmases of today.

As your mind wonders from the present, bring it back into focus by giving praise to God for the gift he gave us. Colossians 3:2, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth.” Get busy living and quit using all of your thought time to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Use that energy to make this year special and to make a difference for God this season.

If you’re thoughts this season are heavier than in the past or there is a sadness you cannot shake, do not be too ashamed to seek help. If you just need a reminder to focus your thoughts on the good of today, read Ecclesiastes 3. Write out Ecclesiastes 3:11 & 12. Put it on your bathroom mirror, put it in your car. Hide it in your heart to remember to enjoy this year’s Christmas season.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I conclude there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.” Ecclesiastes 3: 11& 12.

Keep It Simple

Sometimes we try to make God’s word deep, mysterious and complicated. His truths are real and simple.

Last week I was listening to a bible study podcast. The speaker had me flying through various scriptures to the point I felt like I was back in Children’s Church participating in Bible races. After racing to the seventh scripture in a chain of scriptures, the speaker, with all the enthusiasm you could ever express, questioned, “Do you see it? Isn’t that just beautiful?” I have to confess, I didn’t see it. I hit pause and went back through the chain of scriptures looking for it. I felt so inadequate because I couldn’t see it. I pressed play and listened to her explanation. After she explained the original Greek meaning of several words and explained all of the connections, I finally got it. It was beautiful and helped me realize just how beautiful God’s word is.

Being real here, after I listen to or read a book that takes such a deep dive into scripture, I do feel enlightened and closer to God, but sometimes I always feel so inadequate. I start reading the Bible looking for deep meaningful connections only to become frustrated because I don’t find them.

Changing subjects, Scott loves to grill steaks. It is one of our favorite meals. I do the marinating and Scott grills. I have a two-day process to get steaks ready to grill. It involves sitting in a marinade for 24 hours and then requires a top secret rub before the steaks sit out for several hours to get to room temperature. We always thought it was worth the effort until our last anniversary. We went to eat at a prime steak house. For some reason on this visit, Scott struck up a conversation with the waiter and asked what rub or marinade they put on the steak. Expecting a complex answer, we got, “salt and pepper.” We had to come home and try it. It proved to be just simply wonderful.

Simply wonderful – that is what God’s word is. Recently, I have been digging into God’s word looking for some personal direction. I found the answer teaching a PK Sunday School class last Sunday. The theme was “God has a Plan for You.” I told a favorite bible story of the coat of many colors and we practiced the memory verse, “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.” It is right there plain and simple. I didn’t have to dig and search.

Here are some of the simple truths that I have taught to 4 year olds recently. While deep studies bring a deep understanding, the truth is simple.

God made me just the way he wanted – “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalms 139:14

God Loves me – “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1

Jesus died on the cross for our sins – “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

God has a plan for you – For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 29:11

God looks at the inside – “The Lord sees not as man sees: Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

We can trust God – “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good.” Romans 8:28

God provides for your needs – “God will supply every need according to His riches in glory.” Phil. 4:19

We are to love others – “A new commandment I give to you that you love one another as I have loved you,” John 13:34

Prayer works – “If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.” John 14:14

God’s word is true – “All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching,” 2Timothy 3:16

There is something to be said for the simple truth. We don’t have to make it harder than it should be.

Comment or share if you find this true.

What is forgiveness?

dillards Okay, don’t judge, but I’m still reading on the book that I referenced several months ago. It is a 28 day study of the Lord’s prayer. Yes, I’m going on about 4 months working on this study. This is partly because I have read some sections a couple of times, partly because I’ve set the book aside for days at a time, and partly because I have to divide up what I am to read each day. Anyway, I’m to the part of the study pertaining to the line “Forgive our sins as we forgive those that trespass against us” As I read this chapter, I arrogantly began to make a mental list of all the people I have forgiven. I was reminded of how I had been treated at various times in my life, how God had been faithful through those times, and how I was better off by going through those experiences despite what others had done to me. After several minutes of patting myself on the back, I put the study aside for the night and went to bed.

While shopping a few days later, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a person that was on my list of those forgiven. As soon as I saw this person, my stomach jumped up into my throat or my heart fell down into my stomach. Whatever happened, my insides were a mess. There was an obvious physical reaction to just seeing this person. Being the strong confident woman that I am and because I have completely forgiven this person, I did what any normal person would do. I ducked behind the clothes rack and moved from clothes rack to clothes rack until I was out of the store.

Driving home, it occured to me that maybe I haven’t forgiven this person to the degree I thought I had. If my emotions when I saw this person were strong enough to cause a physical reaction, maybe I haven’t forgiven to the degree I need to. This caused my mind to go all kinds of places. As a matter of fact. I have waited several weeks to write this because I don’t have the answer. I have often heard, “forgive, but don’t forget.” To me that has meant forgive someone that maybe has taken advantage of you, but don’t let them do it again. Now, like I said, I don’t have the answers, but I know of a specific time when a co-worker would pawn work off on me. Once, as I was praying and practicing how I was going to tell this person off refusing to do her work anymore, I felt clearly corrected and reprimanded that I was to show kindness and was to continue helping her in as many ways as possible. In reverse order to help with my current delima, I decided, when all else fails, go to the Word.

Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4 both give us direction concerning forgiveness. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31 & 32. This first reminds me how wrong it is when I have wished for someone that hurt me to be equally or to an even greater extent hurt themselves. I know this is wrong, and I have to control those thoughts. I will admit the best way I have found to get those thoughts under control is to pray for the person who hurt me. It is really hard to think evil against someone as you pray for them.

Aside from working on being kind and putting away my hate to the point where I don’t have to hide in the store, I want to focus on the last phrase in Ephesians 32. “Forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you.” When God forgives us, our sins are completely forgotten. “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12. “You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19. I don’t know that I can forgive like this. As a matter of fact, I know I can’t. Not me, not me alone. To truly forgive in this manner, I will require God’s help. I can’t say I fully understand how you forgive someone that has done something unthinkable to you or to someone you love. I’m working on this, but I do think I am to the point where I won’t hide behind the clothes racks at the store in order to avoid talking to a person.

Win some – Lose some

chairs Just the other day, Scott and I were shopping for some furniture. Ironically I somehow found the most expensive chairs in the entire store without looking at a single tag, and Scott found every orange chair in the entire county. I reminded him that orange is not a color we decorate with and he reminded me of our budget. My point is, we find what we look for.

It has been heavy on my heart lately, that I’m haven’t been paying attention and allowing myself to be used by God as much as he desires. I get so caught up in work and all the events of life, that I don’t take time to put God’s plans first or take advantage of the opportunities or open doors He provides.

While I may have lost my argument on the chairs, I most definitely won by opening my eyes and paying more attention to the needs right in front of me. I challenge you to daily pray Psalm 25:4-5, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

As I am trying to take time and look for ways to share God’s story and God’s love, I find the opportunities are right in front of me all the time. I can’t wait to hear what doors God will open for you once you begin to ask.

Running on Empty

empty I don’t know why it is, but stopping to get gas seems like such a waste of time. It is a task I put off to the very last minute. Partly because I have places to go, and partly because I want to get the most out of my fill-up by trying to create as much time as possible between stops. I have literally coasted into the filling station a few times. Once I I was concentrating so hard on just getting to the pump, I forgot to think about what side my tank was on. After I shut the engine off, I couldn’t get it to start again. I had to get some help to push my car to the other side of the pump.

In my job, summer is the time for planning, getting ready to implement new ideas or just reflecting. I have been able to spend some valuable and rewarding time lately visiting with others about goals and strategies. This is one of the favorite parts of my job. It has reaffirmed the importance of investing in others. We have the power with our words and actions to refuel those around us. It is like filling up your car. It really doesn’t take that long, but we have to make a point to do it.

There have been many days that an encouraging word is what got me through the day. I could write a whole book telling stories of times others have invested in my life. The experienced mom that encouraged me when my children were young. The principal that was willing to trust and nudge a beginning teacher into leadership roles. Probably the most influential person that energized my life was my 6th grade teacher. She greeted me so kindly every day, often complimenting me or calling me “Smiley.” Her words fueled in me a confidence that wasn’t there previously. Of course most often it was just the unexpected kind word or compliment that changes my day. I’m sure you can immediately recall a time when someone said something to you that made you feel better about yourself.

In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul speaks of how hard it is to be a believer, but the necessity of salvation and living for the Lord. He closes this section of his letter by saying, “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another,” I see this as Paul telling us we are all in this together, and we need to help each other out to get to the finish line. Just as my car needs fuel to get me to my destination, we need encouragement to live our life to the fullest. We cannot serve the Lord and live victorious without the encouragement of others.

The problem is, you may be at a place in life where your tank is running on empty. you are lacking a Christian friend or family member that is willing to invest in your life. You may feel all alone or like a failure. Because you can’t run on empty forever or you will end up stranded along side the road, I have two pieces of advice. One, begin to fill up and invest in others. This action will inturn energize you. Proverbs 11:17 tells us, “A kind man benefits himself.” Two, turn to the Word. Let this be your fuel source. Our heavenly Father can affirm your worth and purpose. “God is our refuge and strength,” Psalms 46:1.

I guess the real question is, “Are you willing to encourage and edify others?” Just as we have to take the time to stop and refuel our cars, we need to take the time to encourage, send notes, or just speak kindly to others.

Playing by the Rules

One of our favorite family pastimes is to play cards. I have so many memories as a child playing cards with my family. My dad was quite the card player. He could tell you any card that had been picked up and was certain to let you know if you weren’t paying attention and played into someone’s hand. We had the most laughs at the expense of my sister. She would pick up any face card whether it went with her hand or not. She just couldn’t let one pass by.

As a child, intense conversations focused around not paying attention or not playing smart, however, as a mother, my family found different points to argue. It usually centered around who was cheating. For some reason, my kids believed if you were winning, you had to be cheating. I will say with 98% honesty that I never cheated. Now, if you were not aware enough to hold your cards where they couldn’t be seen, that was your own fault and fair game. Other than that, I always played by the rules.

Playing by the rules is something I have done all of my life. I don’t know if I am just afraid to break the rules or if following rules provides order to my life, but I am a rule follower through and through. I even make up rules to follow such donuts are only allowed on Friday.

The problem is, I somehow began to put my trust in following the rules instead of in God’s grace. I think I got confused along the way and really believed if I followed all of the rules, nothing bad would happen or if I followed all of the rules, I would find favor with God. For the most part, the rules were biblical rules, but some were institutional rules. No matter, I followed them – all of them. Now don’t get me wrong, following the rules set forth in the Bible is the way to go. John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commands.” I would do it all over again. In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul writes, “As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God,” However, following the rules did not protect me from life.

I was extremely fortunate to live in the perfect “Polly Anna” world most of my life. Then my kids became teenagers and what do you know, they weren’t perfect. I began to ask questions and doubt my actions. How could this happen? We went to church every time the doors were open. We had family devotions every morning…. What rule had I missed that would cause this imperfection? After that, the unexplainable happened and cancer hit our family head on. I first wanted to ask why? or how? I had done my part, I had followed the rules. What I was soon to learn, was following the rules couldn’t protect me, but there was a God that could. Maybe you have been treated unfairly at work, been hurt by a spouse, or faced financial hardships. God might not keep any number of painful events from happening, but he would walk beside you all of the way. Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.”

I had to learn it was really about my relationship with Him. It was about His love for me. It wasn’t about how many rules I had kept or broken.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are blessings and rewards for those that keep God’s commands. I James 20:25 confirms that if you are a doer of the word (follow the rules) you will be blessed in what you do. The problem is we can’t follow the rules just to receive blessings or just to be protected from the ugly part of life. We follow the rules because of our relationship with God and because of how much we love Him.

Maybe I should make up a rule about following rules. All I know is that we can never do enough to earn what God freely gives us.

What I’ve Learned this Week

apple The last two weeks have been a little crazy in my head. There have been times I wondered who was living up there because it couldn’t be me. I’m normally very rational and level headed. Strangely the week started out with a full out fit of self-pity. As I prayed one night, I literally made out a list of all the favors, sacrifices and jobs I was doing for others and asked God when someone was going to do something for me. Now, as I type this, it seems utterly ridiculous. But at that time, that night, it was real. I was spent and emotionally exhausted. First, I want to say, I am so thankful for a loving Lord who doesn’t mock the nonsense of such complaints, but instead wraps his arms around me and provides comfort.

Fortunately the uncharacteristic pity-party was short-lived and I was back to normal until I attend a funeral for an 83 year old woman whom I had never met. As I listened to this lovely lady’s family talk about her love for family and others I began to feel so unworthy as a mother and a friend. Then one of the granddaughters read from Roman 12:9-12 NLT to describe her grandmother’s love. “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.” As I thought on these words, “don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them,” I became overwhelmed with the notion that I loved others out of duty not out of real love. I loved or served others because it was what I was supposed to do, not out of a pure heart that was loving others with a Christ-like love. I mean wasn’t it just the week before that I was complaining about all I had to do for my family and friends?

Again, thanks to a loving Lord that helps me through my crazy times. I went home and started reading scriptures on love trying to figure out the difference between real love or pure love as opposed to love that is out of obligation or duty. I was convinced everything I did for others was just because I was expected to do it or someone might be disappointed in me if I didn’t. At first every scripture just confirmed that. I read scripture after scripture about how great God’s love is and how we are to love others with this same type of love. Eph. 5:1,2; John 15:9-13; Romans 8:32; John 13: 34 & 35 all made the guilt even heavier. There was no way I loved with the loved described in these scriptures.

Then two things happened. One, I came across Galatians 5:22, ” But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” which reminded me that you can always tell the motive or what is feeding the vine by the fruit. As I was thinking on these words and beginning to realize there was real fruit in my life and not the fake fruit like my grandma always kept in the bowl on her kitchen table, the second event happened. I stumbled upon John 15 again and read through the whole pruning process and how if we abide in Christ, we will bear fruit. Then in John 15:11 the words of Christ hit me “that your joy may be full.” You know what? Every kind act of love or service that was on the list I made two weeks ago brought me great joy. Every single one. It was real love!!!

What can you take away from this or what is my point? One, I’m so thankful for a God that sees me through my crazy times. I’m usually very level headed and in touch with reality. However, at those times when my thoughts are out of control and creating chaos in my head, my heavenly father doesn’t chastise me or reprimand me. Instead, He lovingly helps me find solid ground again. Two. I have to stay rooted in Christ and feed on his word so that I can produce real fruit. In other words so I can love with the love describe in Romans. A real love with genuine affection. I can’t do this on my own. The fruit is a product of the vine. Three, I am full of joy because of all I get to do for others. Serving others is really what I enjoy doing the most.

Whew, Now that is Mercy

And how do I show thanks?

ticket It is the worst feeling ever. You are driving along, minding your own business, solving all the problems of the world, when all of a sudden you pass the deviously hidden black & white car. It is too late to slam on the brakes, you have already flown passed it. I always just try to play it cool as I watch in the mirror to see if the officer is going to pull out and follow me or let me continue on my journey. On this particular day, I was taking a different route home from work because I had been to a meeting in a nearby school district. I was fresh off the highway and didn’t realize how quickly the speed limit had decreased until I saw the lights flipping on as I passed by. There wasn’t even time to wonder if I was going to get to keep on driving. Now the question was what the damage was going to be. It is a whole new level of dread. I usually just take the approach of saying as little as possible and admitting my guilt with full apologizes as I await the news of ticket or warning. Today for some reason, I just started in with the excuses mixed in with apologizes: I don’t usually drive this road, I didn’t realize the speed limit had changed, I’m so sorry for not paying attention. After about a five minute chat that digressed from the number of children that lived close by to the fact I needed to go to Wal-Mart to get groceries for supper, I finally received the much anticipated news that I would only receive a warning.

I so deserved a ticket. I was going 63 in a 45. I have no idea why he decided to only give me a warning, but it was the most amazing feeling ever. As he went back to his car to write my warning, I was celebrating by sending pictures to Scott and the kids. The thing is, God shows us mercy on a daily basis and I’m sure I don’t celebrate in the same manner. I’m not talking about the ultimate grace and mercy God showed by sending His son and providing the perfect sacrifice for our sins thus creating forgiveness when we in no way deserved it. I’m talking about the mercy and grace God provides in our lives on a daily basis. How often do I stop and give God the credit for the gifts he gives.

First, just to be clear, there is a difference between mercy and grace. I catch myself using them synonymously. The officer extended mercy to me by not giving me the ticket I deserved. Grace on the other hand is when we receive kindness or a blessing that isn’t earned or deserved. Thinking about the grace and mercy experienced every day, I don’t necessarily know what an appropriate consequence would be for every action I make that isn’t the most pleasing to God, but even if there was an immediate response such as a small electronic buzz every time I had an ugly thought, said something ungodly, the little buzzer would be quite busy. Fortunately God doesn’t punish us in that manner. He loves us. Ephesians 2:4 & 5 “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive and together with Christ.” The same is true with grace. The Lord has blessed me with so much more than I deserve, but do I take time to celebrate or even just whisper a prayer of thanks.

I was trying to think of some recent times I could clearly see God’s grace or mercy in my life. I thought of the time I was displaying a little road rage and by all means should have been ran into the barricade. I still don’t know how my car fit between the truck and the cement edge. Oh wait, maybe it was God’s mercy. I deserved to get ran off the road for thinking I could take on a battle with a semi and win. I thought of the time when I was having a bad day last week. I felt like I was being attacked for only trying to help then out of the clear blue, I received a card from a friend thanking me for something I had done that really seemed small to me, but had meant something to them. Tell me that isn’t the grace of God. It made the other matter seem insignificant.

It was probably three weeks ago there was a wreck on the interstate so I was taking the back roads to bypass the traffic. This detour took me past some apartments with boarded up windows, cars without all four tires, and many other signs of undesirable conditions. As I passed through this area of town, there was just a small moment of judgement on my part before I was overwhelmed with conviction. My first thoughts centered around why would anyone live there? They should just close those apartments down and other very disparaging thoughts. Then quickly God brought to my attention how easily I could be living a life completely different, if not for His grace and mercy. I thought of the alcoholism both of my grandfathers suffered from during their lives and how I could just as easily suffer from the same addictive behaviors. There is an extreme difference in the four miles between where these apartments are located and where my house is located, however the only difference that keeps me from living in one place over the other is God’s grace and mercy.

So, today, as I celebrate not paying an enormous traffic ticket, I also want to take time to thank the Lord for loving me so much that He doesn’t make me pay for all of the stupid mistakes I make on a daily basis and loving me so much that he blesses me far beyond anything I deserve.

Scars

You can’t make it through life without them.

scar I am fortunate to not have very many scars, but that also means I don’t have very many exciting stories to go with them.

Not long ago I was sitting with a friend on the edge of the pool. Both of us at sometime in our lives have broken a bone in our foot. Her story is much more exciting than mine. She was getting down from a life guard stand. I’m sure to save a life or something. I was simply walking across a parking lot and fell. Anyway, different circumstances, same injury and ironically, different scars. Truthfully, my scar, that you can barely see, actually came from the “old lady” bunion surgery I decided to have since I had to be in a boot for 6 weeks for the broken bone in my foot to heal. It was a matter of killing two birds with one stone.

The point I want to make is the same injury, the same surgery, the same life event results in a completely unique scar for each individual. Not only is this true for physical scars, but emotional scars follow the same pattern. Two people can go through the exact same event (divorce, death of a child, loss of a job, death of a spouse) and the event will result in completely different scars.

While I can by no means begin to explain how the body heals, I can tell you we are wonderfully designed by God to recreate cells and make new skin to heal wounds that would otherwise be life threatening. The same is true with our emotional scars.

There will be scars in life. No one is promised to live scar free. True, some have multiple scars that are deep, hurtful and life changing, while others of us have managed to live life with only a few scars. John 16:33 tells us, “In this world you will have trouble.” There is no way around problems or hurts in life. However, there is more to the story. It is the part before and after this statement in John 16:33 that is the most important. “…in Me you may have peace….. but take heart! I have overcome the world.” We will have hurts in this life and no one can tell us how to get through them because they are different for everyone. While we can learn from others, we cannot duplicate anyone else’s experience. We have to heal in our own way and yes healing usually involves a great big ugly scab. The beauty is in the new skin that is formed under the scab and only revealed in time.

During that time when the scab is big and ugly, itchy and wanting someone to pick at it, remember that “The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.” Nahum 1:7. Although I don’t have countless scars, I have one or two that are pretty deep, and I can tell you with the utmost confidence, that the new skin under the surface of that scar is fresh and beautiful. Hang in there and be proud of the scars you have.

Where is the best place to hide your dirty laundry?

Right now we are going through the miserable experience called selling our house. This means that within a moment’s notice we have to evacuate the house and make sure it is “show ready” as we departure. Since we have been doing this for several months now, we have it down like a well-rehearsed dance routine.

First let me say, there are three levels of clean. There is “we live here” clean. This means there may be a glass or two in the sink, some books on the sofa, a load of clothes on the dryer to be folded and of course the bed isn’t made. Next there is “company” clean. We can go from “live here” clean to “company” clean in about 15 minutes. However the third level of clean is completely different. It is “show ready” clean. This level of clean allows for people to go through your closets and cabinet at free will. For us it also includes a list of crazy steps such as opening hidden spice rack cabinets, putting out notes about instant hot water, washing a load of clothes (so the laundry room smells like laundry) and walking out of the house backwards followed by the vacuum cleaner to make sure there are no footprints in the carpet. This dance also includes the ritual of taking items like the dog crate, the close hamper, the blankets from the sofa and shoving them in the car. These are the items that are a part of our everyday lives. However, we hide them in the car when prospective buyers are scheduled to visit. Our routine takes us about 30 minutes. 30 minutes to create the illusion of perfection.

car

While we may be able to create this illusion for perspective house buyers, I realized I often try to create this illusion with God. The God that knows my every thought; the God that loves me more than the human mind can comprehend. This is the God I want present myself to as the perfect Christian with the faith to move mountains. In order to appear this way, I hide my fear and doubt from Him pretending it doesn’t exist. I go to Him in prayer like a mighty warrior pretending I’m not scared or worried about anything. Why do I think I need to or even can hide these emotions from my Heavenly Father.

Please tell me I am not alone. Maybe you are angry, defeated, or overwhelmed. Do you present these emotions to God in prayer, or do you feel like when you talk to God it has to be a conversation of love, peace and confidence? Maybe, just maybe, we set higher expectations for ourselves than God does. 1 John 3:20, “If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything. ” Our hearts know we cannot measure up, but thank goodness, God is greater and more understanding than our human hearts.

Back to selling the house, when I am confused why the house hasn’t sold yet or why we haven’t found a new house that we can call OUR house, instead of just asking God why and admitting I don’t understand, I go to God and pretend that I fully trust in his timing. While I do trust him, I try to hide the dirty laundry that in reality I only 75% – 80% trust him. The remaining percent is full of questions and the desire to take the matter into my own hands.

We were actually driving around with the car full of our hidden secrets (like no one else has dirty clothes in a clothes hamper at their house) when God placed on my heart how I try to hide my undesirable emotions and feelings from Him. Now, as I am sitting here writing my thoughts, I am vowing to be more honest with my God who already knows the truth anyway. I pray that you can come to a place where there is a deep enough trust to be honest with God as well. He already knows and He loves you the same.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7