trust – Page 3 – View From My Shoes

Voice of Lies

You can do whatever God has asked you to do. He is there to help you.

I don’t understand how the majority of the time I feel there isn’t anything I can’t do. As a matter of fact, I often get myself in trouble taking on jobs by myself when I really should ask for help. But, why would I ask for help? I can do it myself. I even catch myself refusing help because “I can do it.” Just this week I was moving the patio furniture out to power wash the porch. I was carrying four chairs stacked together. Scott saw me, and came over to help. Through gritted teeth, I refused the help replying, “I’ve got it.” Maybe it is stubbornness; maybe it is over confidence. No matter, 99% of the time, I think I can do anything that is placed in front of me.

The problem is 1% of the time this voice comes in my head and at the worst times. This voice tells me:

You are in over your head.
You are not smart enough to figure this out.
You are not qualified to handle this challenge.
Soon others are going to realize you are incompetent.
I am bad mom.
Scott would be better off with someone who gave him more attention.

The list goes on and on and is very convincing. It is a voice of lies!

I know I’m not alone. This voice of lies speaks to all of us. Even Moses must have heard this same voice. He expressed his self-doubt to the Lord four times in Exodus 3 & 4.

He first asked the Lord, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? The Lord quickly answered, “I will certainly be with you.”
Moses then made my favorite statement. “But suppose they will not believe me.” Suppose, how often do I suppose something – assume that something is true without proof or knowledge?
Moses’ next doubt had some legitimacy which makes it easier to believe, “I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” The Lord tried to prove to Moses where he should put his trust. The Lord responded, “Who has made man’s mouth? … Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”
He should have stopped there, discounted the voice of lies and headed out to do as the Lord had commanded. Instead, he makes one more plea. “Lord, please send someone else.” The beautiful part of this story is while the Lord was angered, He sent Aaron to be with Moses.

I have to say, Moses helps me feel better about myself.

The Lord is the voice of truth and has the answer to every lie that comes into your mind. While it is true that we cannot do some of the hard things in life alone, the rest of the truth is that we have this friend, Jesus, who has promised “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. Read that again. His grace covers our weakness. We can do anything he asks us to do. He will cover for us where we cannot do it alone.

Next time the voice of lies begins to creep into your thoughts, remember the Lord had an answer for every one of Moses’ doubts, and the Word tells us, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8,

As You Wish

Your will be done. Really? Who says that? I tease our sons that the line from Princess Bride, “As you wish.” Should be their go to response for their wives. Whether you prefer “as you wish” or “your will be done,” submission is what the speaker of either phrase is granting someone.

Twice, during prayer, Jesus models this for us. The first time is when Jesus is asked to teach the disciples to pray. In this model prayer Jesus simply states “Your will be done.” (Matt 6:10 & Luke 11:2). Jesus is teaching us to seek God’s will when we pray. The second prayer is when Jesus is praying in the garden. He not only prays this once, but twice that night. “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39). Here Jesus is asking for a pass from the cross and even more so, a pass from taking on of all the sins of the world creating a separation between Him and His father. Then He pauses and says, “nevertheless” or never mind – not my will, but yours.

Praying for God’s will takes courage. Even as a young girl, I was always afraid to just openly pray for God’s will. What if He wanted me to do something crazy like leave my mom and dad and go to the mission field. Don’t judge, it always crossed my mind. In all seriousness, last night as I was out watering plants, I was praying for a break. I was just telling God from the bottom of my heart that I needed a break. I was asking for just one day to take it easy, one day just for me. I will admit, I mentioned a spa day and even possibly a quick weekend getaway. When it suddenly occurred to me how selfishly I was praying. I immediately recognized that I should be praying for the energy and stamina to do what God has placed in front of me, not praying for a break. I had to throw up the same “never mind” that Jesus did when He was praying. I was praying for Angela’s will not God’s will.

I’ve been called out on this before. Once my daughter was dating a guy I didn’t really like. I was praying for every kind of break-up you could imagine. One of them would find someone else, her eyes would be open, his parents would move out of state…. As they were getting a little more serious, I decided to rally the troops. I did what any praying mom would do. I called my best, praying friend and asked her to join me. We know where two or more are gathered, there is power in that prayer. With her help, we would make this breakup happen. However, I didn’t get the response from my friend that I was expecting. She simply asked me if I had thought about praying for this young man and praying that he would develop a relationship with Christ. Ouch, NO! I had not thought about praying that way. I was praying for a breakup. Again, praying for Angela’s will not God’s will.

How do we know God’s will so we can pray that way? Ask. Just simply ask Him and then listen. The more time you spend with Him, the more you will know His will, and the more you will desire to submit to it. Don’t worry, the odds are really slim that He will ask you to sell everything and go to Siberia.

Who do You Call?

phone call Two different incidents prompted this blog. First, earlier this week when carrying in groceries, a bag began to rip. I caught it with my knee against the dryer and hollered for Scott to come to my rescue as my hands were holding several other bags. Just two minutes prior, Scott had been standing in the kitchen and should be readily available to come running at my beckon call. After escalating my calls for help, I realized, he must have moved to another location in the house and began to solve my problem on my own.

Today, I was in a meeting when Scott called. I discreetly hit the red, ignore button and continued with the meeting when the phone immediately rang again. Now this is our signal for, “I REALLY need to talk to you,” but I couldn’t answer the phone in this meeting, so I hit the red button again. Trying to stay focused, I saw a text message come across that contained the words emergency room. I stood up thinking I was going to have to leave this meeting, until I read the rest of the text. Scott had cut his leg and was headed to the emergency room. Realizing my assistance wasn’t of the utmost importance (He wasn’t lying on the garage floor and couldn’t get up.) I sat back down and covered a few more points before leaving the meeting. Please don’t think I’m a terrible wife. He only needed 4 or 5 stitches.

My point is, sometimes when we call out for friends, spouses or others to help us, they don’t answer or don’t drop everything and come running. However, we have a God who is standing ready, waiting for us to call on His name. He is there when the car in front of us comes to an abrupt stop, He is there when a conversation starts to become heated, and He is there in the middle of the night when the tears can’t be stopped. “Call to Me, and I will answer you,” (Jeremiah 32:39). “They will call on My name, and I will answer them.” (Zechariah 13:9). We never have to worry that God has left the room or that God is in a meeting and can’t answer us. He is there for us, big problem or small.

The question is, what name do you call out to when in trouble or when needing help? Do you immediately turn to God or is He a last resort after you have tried to solve the problem yourself? Do you put more faith in your friends and family by looking to them for help with your problems before you call on God? I can promise you this, God is the one who will always be there.

What You Don’t Know

Last Monday was a somewhat typical day for me. I had to attend 3 meetings, make a short presentation and attend a board meeting. I would like to think I pulled off the day with great success. However, what if I told you my shoe was being held together by Gorilla Glue and could have come apart at any moment. I probably shouldn’t tell you, but I will, that under my suit jacket, my shirt was partially unzipped because it was too tight and I couldn’t breathe with it zipped. Looks can be so deceiving. On the outside, I appeared to have my act together, but in reality, I was uncomfortable and tiptoeing gingerly with every step not to put too much strain on my shoe.

Life can be the same way. We work so hard to put on the appearance that everything is perfect and we have it all together when it truth, that isn’t the case. I have no doubt that many times we are sitting next to someone and thinking they have the perfect life while in reality we may have no idea what is going on. It could be they had a huge fight with their teenage child that morning and are worried about how it is going to play out when everyone gets back home tonight. It could be they have felt a growing lump and are trying to get into a doctor while every thought is filled with fear. It could be bills are coming due at a higher rate than pay is coming in.

I have two points I want to make here. The first one is for the girl trying to hold it together, but barely doing so. I get that sometimes we have to “put on those big girl panties,” and hold it together to get a job done or know that we are just doing the best we can until something in our life changes. I want to tell the girl is who is putting on this façade every day and pretending that everything is perfect that it is okay to let someone know. You don’t have to hold it together alone. Then to all of the other ladies out there who are admiring that perfect friend and trying so hard to be like them, this friend may not be as perfect as you think. Really what your friend may need instead of your admiration is your kindness, or your willingness to listen.

I’m so thankful for a suit jacket and Gorilla Glue. My day would have been a disaster without them. What I pray is that as Jesus directed in John 7:24 that I “Do not judge according to appearance but judge with righteous judgment.” That is I pray that I see others through the eyes of the Lord, not through my earthly eyes. How is this possible? Only through prayer and knowing the heart of the Lord. Philippians 1:9 states “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment,” This tells me that through prayer our love for others and the ability to see their needs can increase if we seek it.

Everyone has a Job to Do.

We are all created to play a role in the body of Christ. Be proud of what you are created to do.

milk I’m embarrassed to tell this story, but this weekend I made a cooking mistake you would expect a 12 year old to make, but not someone who has been putting food on the table for MANY years. I was making macaroni and cheese with my mind on a million other tasks. Right before I put the last cheese in, I thought the pasta had a different smell to it and immediately realized what I had done. I used sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk. I had no idea how this was going to turn out, but went on as planned. We dubbed it dessert mac and cheese. While the concoction was edible, it was really rich and a few bites went a long ways.

While each can is technically a milk product, each serves a completely different purpose. They are amazing when used the right way, but disastrous when used as a substitute for each other. I was reminded that we are the same way. God has created each one of us as an individual with distinct characteristics, but disaster is guaranteed when we try to be something other than what we were created to be. Romans 12:4-6, “For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function, so we, being many are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them;”

While I’m airing all of my dirty laundry, I might as well give you an example. As a teen, I so wanted to be able to sing in church or play the piano. I’m telling you, this is not what I was designed or created to do, but for some crazy reason, I had to give it a try. I’m so glad we didn’t have video cameras in everyone’s hand when I was growing up. I feel pretty safe there is no embarrassing evidence of my futile attempts to sing or play the piano. I’m telling you I cannot even keep a steady beat, but I tried to be something I wasn’t. Fortunately, as is the same with you, I was given other talents that I’m glad I have come to appreciate.

I just wanted to share this hoping you would be encouraged to thrive in the way you were created and use those talents with pride. No one is more or less important in the eyes of Christ. You are special and you are needed in the body of Christ.

Keeping the Joy

joy How is it that what used to bring us joy and pleasure can over time be taken for granted or even more strangely turn in to an annoyance that grates on our last nerve?

It is in God’s presence we find joy. It is when we have a relationship with Christ and spend time with him we find Joy. “In Your presence is fullness of joy.” Psalms 6:11. If this is true, why then do we not just walk around happy all of the time? First, happiness and joy are not the same thing. Joy is much deeper and can even be present during the dark times in our lives. If joy is missing in your life, you must first ask where your treasure is. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19.

Let me give you a personal example. Scott loves to do impersonations and different voices. He really is good at it. When we were dating, this was a part of our time together that would make me smile and chuckle. It was a side of Scott I treasured. However, just the other day I was working in the kitchen and trying to concentrate. Scott had been helping me, but he stepped into the living area to turn on the Thunder game. As he was doing so, he started in with an impersonation of the announcer introducing the Thunder starters. I caught myself physically rolling my eyes and taking a deep breath. Why? I wasn’t appreciating the things in life that could bring me joy and was actually letting this same action get on my nerves. My treasure was shifting and could shift into the danger zone if I didn’t stop it.

Checking where your treasure is can be as simple as a check of your body language. How do you respond to those around you, those that you love the most? Does a smile come across your face when you hear the garage door open, when the phone rings and that familiar number scrolls across the screen, or when your spouse cracks that joke that you have heard hundreds of times? If not, you need to change the language your body is speaking. That language will become a steady voice that you don’t want in your life.

It is also in your power to treasure your relationship for Christ. He is always there investing in you. How much are you contributing the relationship? It does take two. Again, check your body language. How do you react when you hear a scripture quoted? How do you react when it is time for devotions? Do you roll your eyes as you would with a tired joke, do you plop down with your bible like you are being served canned spinach, or do you treasure the opportunity to draw closer to the author of those words?

God desires for our lives to be joyful. Joy is a natural fruit that is produced as a person lives in the Spirit. Check your body language and make sure you are feeding your soul what it needs to grow and produce joy.

It’s all in God’s Timing

7CB7EF82-8E8B-49F3-BE25-111DCE307A89 Isn’t it amazing how sometimes you can be in the right place at the right time? There is a new restaurant not far from our house. As you are standing in line waiting to order, they go down the line passing out shake samples. When they run out of samples, the next person in line gets a cow bell. If you ring the cowbell as you are ordering, you get a free order of fries. Twice, I got the last shake sample and Scott got the cowbell. He rang it with full gusto to get his free fries. We were in the right place at the right time.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have watched some young leaders handle difficult situations with amazing confidence and poise. As I have watched these events unfold, it has been affirmed that God has placed these leaders right where He wants them, at the time He wants them for His purpose. It is the most amazing feeling to know that you are right where God wants you, that you are in the center of His plan doing what He has called you to do.

Each and every one of us was created by God for a purpose. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10. I believe with all of my heart that God has a plan for you. Your life is important and it matters. Colossians 1:16, “For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, … All things were created through Him and for Him.” You are not just going through the motions of life. God has a plan for you and it is a wonderful plan full of ways to serve Him. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Like I said earlier, we are often in the right place at the right time because we are where God wants us to be. It might not be for a free order of fries. It might be because someone needs to hear a positive word from you or is in need of an act of kindness that only you can share. Take just a minute to look around and think about how you can serve the Lord right where you are in life at this time, and never forget God had a plan just for you.

What is forgiveness?

dillards Okay, don’t judge, but I’m still reading on the book that I referenced several months ago. It is a 28 day study of the Lord’s prayer. Yes, I’m going on about 4 months working on this study. This is partly because I have read some sections a couple of times, partly because I’ve set the book aside for days at a time, and partly because I have to divide up what I am to read each day. Anyway, I’m to the part of the study pertaining to the line “Forgive our sins as we forgive those that trespass against us” As I read this chapter, I arrogantly began to make a mental list of all the people I have forgiven. I was reminded of how I had been treated at various times in my life, how God had been faithful through those times, and how I was better off by going through those experiences despite what others had done to me. After several minutes of patting myself on the back, I put the study aside for the night and went to bed.

While shopping a few days later, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a person that was on my list of those forgiven. As soon as I saw this person, my stomach jumped up into my throat or my heart fell down into my stomach. Whatever happened, my insides were a mess. There was an obvious physical reaction to just seeing this person. Being the strong confident woman that I am and because I have completely forgiven this person, I did what any normal person would do. I ducked behind the clothes rack and moved from clothes rack to clothes rack until I was out of the store.

Driving home, it occured to me that maybe I haven’t forgiven this person to the degree I thought I had. If my emotions when I saw this person were strong enough to cause a physical reaction, maybe I haven’t forgiven to the degree I need to. This caused my mind to go all kinds of places. As a matter of fact. I have waited several weeks to write this because I don’t have the answer. I have often heard, “forgive, but don’t forget.” To me that has meant forgive someone that maybe has taken advantage of you, but don’t let them do it again. Now, like I said, I don’t have the answers, but I know of a specific time when a co-worker would pawn work off on me. Once, as I was praying and practicing how I was going to tell this person off refusing to do her work anymore, I felt clearly corrected and reprimanded that I was to show kindness and was to continue helping her in as many ways as possible. In reverse order to help with my current delima, I decided, when all else fails, go to the Word.

Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4 both give us direction concerning forgiveness. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31 & 32. This first reminds me how wrong it is when I have wished for someone that hurt me to be equally or to an even greater extent hurt themselves. I know this is wrong, and I have to control those thoughts. I will admit the best way I have found to get those thoughts under control is to pray for the person who hurt me. It is really hard to think evil against someone as you pray for them.

Aside from working on being kind and putting away my hate to the point where I don’t have to hide in the store, I want to focus on the last phrase in Ephesians 32. “Forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you.” When God forgives us, our sins are completely forgotten. “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12. “You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19. I don’t know that I can forgive like this. As a matter of fact, I know I can’t. Not me, not me alone. To truly forgive in this manner, I will require God’s help. I can’t say I fully understand how you forgive someone that has done something unthinkable to you or to someone you love. I’m working on this, but I do think I am to the point where I won’t hide behind the clothes racks at the store in order to avoid talking to a person.

So Many Distractions

There are distractions everywhere. It takes determination to stay focused.

On this little weekend trip that Scott and I took a couple of weeks ago, one particular night we ate at a local restaurant known not only for the amazing food, but more so for the quantity of food. We left the restaurant miserable. As we were driving back to the hotel, I mentioned that I needed to go walk or something in order to feel better. This came up in conversation right as we passed a Wal-mart. Scott suggested we just go walk around the store until we felt better. This idea was genius and one reason why I keep him around. As we were getting out of the car, I was focused on a meaningful walk through the aisles of Wal-mart. I described to Scott how we would attack the store one aisle at a time at a strong walking pace. I left my purse in the car, cued up my watch to track our steps, and began marching off our plan. About isle two, the distractions started. We were pacing through the pharmacy section when I remembered we were about out of toothpaste. I was able to grab the toothpaste without hardly slowing down. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of the distractions. We spent several minutes picking out a magazine. The kitchen gadget isle was extremely captivating. I’m too embarrassed to tell you how much time we spent in the Christmas section. By then, our pace and plan were gone and in reality, our hands were too full from the random items we were carrying to walk anyway. While our little walk did help, it also cost us over $60. to get out of the store. Thank goodness at least Scott had his wallet. The second reason I keep him around.

How does this relate to my Christian walk? Almost exactly step for step. First, I feel moved by something I read in my devotion time or hear a powerful message that inspires me. I feel the Spirit developing this strong action plan in my heart, and I work to put it into action. Let the distractions begin. This blog is one example. I’m going to write a blog once a week was my original plan. Right now I’m lucky to get out one a month. Sometimes it is as simple as a quickening in my spirit that I need to call a friend or send them a text. The thoughts are there, the plans are there, but the action is delayed or devoured by distractions. I’m telling you even doing the dishes can be a distraction. I’m going to set down and write on an upcoming blog, but I don’t because I have dishes to do. Maybe I’m going to commit extra money to a missions project this month. Oh, I can’t even begin to list all of the distractions that can thwart this plan.

Luke 14 contains a parable that tells of a man hosting a great supper or a feast. This man sent out many invitations well in advance as was the custom. Then the day of the feast the servant went out to announce the start of the meal, but those invited all faced distractions. One had a new bride, one had new property and one had new oxen. All of these distractions were placed as a priority over the feast. As you know from this familiar story, the master sent the servant out to find other guest. What I fear is, just as the original invitees, we can easily be distracted and place priorities above what God has called us to do or what He has planned for us. I don’t know why it seems hard to accept, but not doing what we know to do is just as much of a sin as the sins we so publicly denounce such as affairs or stealing. “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:7.

I pray as I write this that I can keep my focus on what God has placed in my heart and make Him a priority in my life.

Just Trust

I’m learning that Google maps is more trustworthy than my directional skills. Maybe I should learn the same lesson concerning God’s plan.

driving Just recently Scott and I took a weekend road trip. For the majority of the trip, Scott was driving, and I took on the role of navigator. This is not my strongest skill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m great at giving directions. It’s just that my directions are not always great. I would put the destination into Google maps and off we would go until I thought I had a better plan than what was on the map. One time I told Scott to head down the highway for fifty some miles until we came to Hwy 271. In my mind I knew our destination is south or left of our current location. As we approached Hwy 271, it was a right hand turn or north. I told Scott to keep going because that couldn’t be the correct turn. Yes, we got to make a u-turn in about 5 miles and go back to the turn the map told us to take. The road only went north for a few miles before it headed back south. Another time, we were on a 4 lane highway with one-way side roads on each site. I had directions to the hotel pulled up on the map, but it was taking us way past the hotel and entering in on the back side of the hotel. As we approached the hotel, I could see it and there was an exit. I yelled for Scott to exit, he slammed on the breaks and headed for the exit. What do you know, we couldn’t get to the hotel from that exit without hopping over a couple of curbs and driving though the grass. My sudden change in plans took us to another highway and almost landed us on a turnpike headed out of town.

After a couple of days of this, Scott coined the phrase, “Just trust Google and tell me what it says.” Just trust Google? He was right more than once. How hard is it to learn this. It is so similar to the concept – Just trust God’s – how hard is that? When will I learn?

I find this the hardest when I can’t see immediate results. I think back to the two years it took us to sell our house and get moved to Edmond, more than once I questioned God’s plan and would try to develop one on my own. I also struggle when I’m not seeing the results I had in mind. This was evident when my kids were teenagers. For example instead of completely trusting God, who loves them more than I do, I would begin to doubt if morning devotions were worth the fight or if having a family scripture of the week was more for me or them. While I was praying and superficially trusting God, I would often think to myself, “This isn’t working.” God has a plan for us that is as clear as the blue line on Google maps. It is up to us to trust Him and follow the plan.

There are so many places to put our trust other than the Lord. Maybe it is your savings account that you trust for your future finances. Maybe it is your physical appearance you trust to create your importance. Psalm 20:7 explains this, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” Psalms is full of scripture on trusting the Lord, but the scripture that keeps me grounded is Proverbs 3:5 & 6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” We know that God’s ways are higher than our ways and we just have to trust Him. He has proven Himself over and over.