purpose – Page 3 – View From My Shoes

Running on Empty

empty I don’t know why it is, but stopping to get gas seems like such a waste of time. It is a task I put off to the very last minute. Partly because I have places to go, and partly because I want to get the most out of my fill-up by trying to create as much time as possible between stops. I have literally coasted into the filling station a few times. Once I I was concentrating so hard on just getting to the pump, I forgot to think about what side my tank was on. After I shut the engine off, I couldn’t get it to start again. I had to get some help to push my car to the other side of the pump.

In my job, summer is the time for planning, getting ready to implement new ideas or just reflecting. I have been able to spend some valuable and rewarding time lately visiting with others about goals and strategies. This is one of the favorite parts of my job. It has reaffirmed the importance of investing in others. We have the power with our words and actions to refuel those around us. It is like filling up your car. It really doesn’t take that long, but we have to make a point to do it.

There have been many days that an encouraging word is what got me through the day. I could write a whole book telling stories of times others have invested in my life. The experienced mom that encouraged me when my children were young. The principal that was willing to trust and nudge a beginning teacher into leadership roles. Probably the most influential person that energized my life was my 6th grade teacher. She greeted me so kindly every day, often complimenting me or calling me “Smiley.” Her words fueled in me a confidence that wasn’t there previously. Of course most often it was just the unexpected kind word or compliment that changes my day. I’m sure you can immediately recall a time when someone said something to you that made you feel better about yourself.

In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul speaks of how hard it is to be a believer, but the necessity of salvation and living for the Lord. He closes this section of his letter by saying, “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another,” I see this as Paul telling us we are all in this together, and we need to help each other out to get to the finish line. Just as my car needs fuel to get me to my destination, we need encouragement to live our life to the fullest. We cannot serve the Lord and live victorious without the encouragement of others.

The problem is, you may be at a place in life where your tank is running on empty. you are lacking a Christian friend or family member that is willing to invest in your life. You may feel all alone or like a failure. Because you can’t run on empty forever or you will end up stranded along side the road, I have two pieces of advice. One, begin to fill up and invest in others. This action will inturn energize you. Proverbs 11:17 tells us, “A kind man benefits himself.” Two, turn to the Word. Let this be your fuel source. Our heavenly Father can affirm your worth and purpose. “God is our refuge and strength,” Psalms 46:1.

I guess the real question is, “Are you willing to encourage and edify others?” Just as we have to take the time to stop and refuel our cars, we need to take the time to encourage, send notes, or just speak kindly to others.

Are You Spiritually Stocked Up?

When moving I lost focus and didn’t keep our storehouse full. The problem is, I tend to do the same spiritually. I put our physical needs before our spiritual needs.

I didn’t realize how long it had been since I added to my blog. Let me explain in two simple words. We moved. It took a month to get everything packed up and now another month to get everything in it’s place here at our new home. We are finally to the point where we can take time to enjoy our new place and do something besides work. Now, I’m not immune to hard work. I’ve hauled hay, built fence, put in retaining walls… but those jobs are hard for one or two days and then finished. Moving is like the chore that never ends.

After about 4 days in the new house, we had all the boxes emptied and the surface was starting to look normal. As it approached supper time, I opened the fridge and quickly realized any sense of normalcy was surface only. We had worked to eat down as much food as we could before we moved, and then during the move we had been eating out for over a week. It was time for that to stop, but all we had to work with was a gallon of milk I had grabbed at Walgreens and the few items that did not get purged when packing the fridge where I threw away all expired food. Unfortunately, the pantry looked the same. It was time to make a major grocery run. refridgerator

The thing is, I had done the same with my spiritual storehouse. During the move not only had I neglected to purchase any food, I had been neglecting my time in the Word as well. I don’t get it. Scott is so faithful. Rain or shine, work or play, he gets up and spends time listening to the word and time in prayer. Yet, I am so easily distracted. I can always find something that needs to be done when I get ready to sit down with my Bible.

In John 6, we first read of Jesus feeding the 5,000. That is a story we all know from our childhood, but let’s take a look at what happened the next day. When morning came, the people began to look for Jesus. They were of course confused because the only boat missing was the boat the disciples used to leave in for Capernaum. They didn’t realize Jesus didn’t need a boat because he walked across the sea. Anyway the crowd took off in boats “seeking Jesus.” When they found him, they even asked how he got there. Jesus quickly changed the subject and took this opportunity to teach the crowd. He scolded them for following Him only for the physical bread he had provided, and offered they should follow him for the everlasting life He offers instead.

I am guilty. I often put our physical needs and comforts in front of my spiritual needs. I seek to keep the house picked up more than I seek to spend time investing in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Any book you read on relationships will emphasis the importance of spending time together.

I often tease my sister, mother of 4, that if the world is coming to an end, I want to bunker down at her house because she always has enough food on hand to feed an army. I can remember when Jace was in high school. I had to always be prepared to fix a meal for whatever group of friends showed up. I had to keep the fridge and pantry stocked.

Shouldn’t we be the same spiritually? We never know what life event might happen that will require a us to tap into our spiritual warehouse. The question is, will yours be full or empty?

Coming next week – Running on empty

Playing by the Rules

One of our favorite family pastimes is to play cards. I have so many memories as a child playing cards with my family. My dad was quite the card player. He could tell you any card that had been picked up and was certain to let you know if you weren’t paying attention and played into someone’s hand. We had the most laughs at the expense of my sister. She would pick up any face card whether it went with her hand or not. She just couldn’t let one pass by.

As a child, intense conversations focused around not paying attention or not playing smart, however, as a mother, my family found different points to argue. It usually centered around who was cheating. For some reason, my kids believed if you were winning, you had to be cheating. I will say with 98% honesty that I never cheated. Now, if you were not aware enough to hold your cards where they couldn’t be seen, that was your own fault and fair game. Other than that, I always played by the rules.

Playing by the rules is something I have done all of my life. I don’t know if I am just afraid to break the rules or if following rules provides order to my life, but I am a rule follower through and through. I even make up rules to follow such donuts are only allowed on Friday.

The problem is, I somehow began to put my trust in following the rules instead of in God’s grace. I think I got confused along the way and really believed if I followed all of the rules, nothing bad would happen or if I followed all of the rules, I would find favor with God. For the most part, the rules were biblical rules, but some were institutional rules. No matter, I followed them – all of them. Now don’t get me wrong, following the rules set forth in the Bible is the way to go. John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commands.” I would do it all over again. In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul writes, “As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God,” However, following the rules did not protect me from life.

I was extremely fortunate to live in the perfect “Polly Anna” world most of my life. Then my kids became teenagers and what do you know, they weren’t perfect. I began to ask questions and doubt my actions. How could this happen? We went to church every time the doors were open. We had family devotions every morning…. What rule had I missed that would cause this imperfection? After that, the unexplainable happened and cancer hit our family head on. I first wanted to ask why? or how? I had done my part, I had followed the rules. What I was soon to learn, was following the rules couldn’t protect me, but there was a God that could. Maybe you have been treated unfairly at work, been hurt by a spouse, or faced financial hardships. God might not keep any number of painful events from happening, but he would walk beside you all of the way. Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.”

I had to learn it was really about my relationship with Him. It was about His love for me. It wasn’t about how many rules I had kept or broken.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are blessings and rewards for those that keep God’s commands. I James 20:25 confirms that if you are a doer of the word (follow the rules) you will be blessed in what you do. The problem is we can’t follow the rules just to receive blessings or just to be protected from the ugly part of life. We follow the rules because of our relationship with God and because of how much we love Him.

Maybe I should make up a rule about following rules. All I know is that we can never do enough to earn what God freely gives us.

I Could Have Killed Him

In my effort to win the “Wife of the Year” award, I try really hard to fix supper on the nights I’m home and to pack a lunch for Scott and I Monday thru Thursday. Last Tuesday, I roasted a chicken in the Instant Pot for dinner and then for our lunches, I took the chicken we didn’t eat to make chicken salad sandwiches. I have done this successfully in the past. I simply put the leftover pieces of chicken in the Ninja, grind them up, add some pecans, grapes and dressing – voila, chicken salad. I’m telling you, the sandwiches looked devine as I packed them in our lunch bags for the next day. However looks can be deceiving.

When it came time to eat my sandwich the next day, about two bites in I came across what I thought was a pecan shell. No problem. While this is hard to describe without sounding gross, I separated the shell from my food and discarded it into my napkin so I could continue eating. It was in the very next bite, I came across what I thought was piece of shell number two. This time after I placed the piece in my napkin, I took a little peek at it. sorry for the grossness, but true story. I was a little bewildered, because the piece didn’t really look like a pecan shell. However as an obviously slow learner, I kept eating my sandwich. I was two more bites in, when it happened again. This time I had to thoroughly investigate. It was clear what had happened. I had ground up a chicken bone while making the chicken salad. I threw my sandwich away and quickly called Scott to warn him. I was too late. He had already eaten his sandwich even though he had actually discovered a small bone piece similar in size to a broken off toothpick. If you know Scott, it won’t surprise you that he ate the sandwich despite finding a bone in it.

All I could think about was how many times have I heard, “Never feed your dogs chicken bones because they splinter and will puncture the dog’s intestines.” I quickly googled what happens if you eat a chicken bone. The articles that popped up were centered around a dog eating a chicken bone. I learned the signs I should be watching for included:

Vomiting or retching
Drooling or panting
Restlessness and looking uncomfortable
Tiredness, reluctance to move
Refusing to eat
Stretching repeatedly or moving oddly
Whining, crying when his tummy is touched
Bleeding from his bottom, diarrhea, or straining to empty his bowels
Other behavior that you don’t normally see in your dog (such are growling) and that might indicate pain or discomfort

I didn’t know how many of those symptoms I might see in Scott so I continued my research based more specifically around humans, I learned that in a few unlucky patients, swallowing a chicken bone causes serious problems. About 10-20% would need to undergo foreign body extraction through endoscopy. Furthermore, about 1% of patients end up in the operating room to undergo major surgery for serious complications. These include intestinal perforation, bowel obstruction, internal bleeding (hemorrhage), abdominal infection (peritonitis), and abscess formation (pus collection). These complications often develop a few days after ingestion of the chicken bone. All we could do now was wait….

Obviously, all is well, no surgery required although my “wife of the year” status is in great jeopardy. While we laugh about it now, there were a few minutes where the worry trait that I inherited from my mom and grandma came rushing over me full force. If I told you some of the what if’s that went through my mind, you would be convinced I was partially crazy. I must admit this worry factor can be a real problem. I notice it more and more the older I get. Just last week (after we survived the chicken bones), I was in Mobile holding my beautiful, 4 month old grandbaby. I caught myself at one point looking at her and becoming preoccupied with worry. I thought of everything that could happen to her from the flu to cancer. I had to literally push those thoughts from my mind.

The number of scriptures that tell us not to worry are more numerous than I can list here, but there are a few worth mentioning. Matthew 6 and Luke 12 both record Jesus speaking to His disciples about worry. These passages include such phrases as:

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink nor about your body what you will put on
The heavenly Father knows what you need, so seek first the kingdom of God
Do not worry about tomorrow
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature
Do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink nor have an anxious mind

It is also in these passages where Jesus references the birds of the air and the lilies of the valley compared to us as an example of how He takes care of them and accordingly He will so much more take care of us.

There is also:

Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you.”

All of these scriptures based on worry and anxiety tells me two things. One, I’m not alone. Jesus knew this was a real problem for many or He wouldn’t have put it in the Bible so many times. Two, there are too many wonderful experiences in life to waste any time at all in worry and fear. Not that this comes naturally or easily, but I’m committed to keeping my mind worry free. Now this doesn’t mean if I ever think I have done something to put our lives in jeopardy again I won’t Google what to do or what to look for, but I won’t let the worry consume my day.

How Much are you Worth?

The drive to Woodward is a trek I have made more times than I can count since I moved for sale away 30 some years ago. I visited my mom and dad on a somewhat regular basis, but during the two years Scott and I were dating, I headed down highway 270 at least once a month. One of the interesting sites along the road is this pasture with multiple cars parked out by the highway. For some reason, I always notice these cars as they mark the spot where I am about 7 miles from home. These cars have been parked here for years. Really, I’ve glanced at these cars as I drove by for as long as I can remember. I’ve never seen anyone stop and look at them as if they might want to purchase them. I’ve never seen a sign marking the price or a price reduction. They are just sitting there waiting to be purchased.

As we have been trying to sell our house, it is very clear that a house or any object is only worth what someone is willing to pay. It doesn’t really matter what you paid for it originally, how much you have spent on improvements, or how much the house next door sold for. What really matters is the amount a buyer is willing to pay at the time you want to sell. Clearly, no one is willing to pay for these vehicles what the buyer is asking. I don’t even know if there is an engine in either one of them. If the farmer that lives here wants to move these cars out of his field, he is going to have to lower the price to what someone is willing to pay.

I must admit there have been times in my life where I felt like these cars. I felt what I had to offer was not of value to anyone or worthy enough to be desired. These feelings have popped up at different times in my life. First as a young mother who had no idea what I was doing. I was convinced that all other mothers were much more equipped for the job than I was. I identified so many mistakes in my parenting skills, I couldn’t see any value in myself. There have been other times when I tried to judge my value based on what I saw in the mirror. All I could see were the faults that lowered my value in my mind. There is no good that can come from those thoughts. I also battle with the misconception that I can somehow increase my value by the possessions I own. The thought that a designer purse will make be a better person is nothing but a lie.

A low point in my value meter came at a time in my career when I faced on a daily basis criticism and rejection. I truly began to believe I was inept and unqualified for the position I held. Fortunately, during these times, either through scripture or through friends who encouraged me and lifted me up, I was able to regain my confidence and realize I was beautifully and wonderfully made.

As I was writing this, I pulled out my journal to find the scriptures I leaned on during these times. I wanted to share just a few with you.

Proverbs 16:3, “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” Put it in God’s hands and then our thoughts can be free from worry – Angela’s version (AV)

Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Okay, God is talking to the Israelites, but He is the same God today as He was yesterday. I don’t have to be afraid and worry. He will take care of me. – AV

Psalm 56:4 “In God I have put my trust, I will not fear. What can mere mortals do to me?” My value comes from God not man. My trust is in Him, not those around me – AV

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.” Whether I feel like an inadequate mother, a humdrum dresser, or that I’m in over my head at work, God has placed me here for a purpose and that purpose is to carry out his plan. I am valuable because I have a plan to carryout. – AV

I want to wrap up with a point that contradicts Economics 101. Our value isn’t based on supply and demand, determined by what others desire or set through our own critical viewpoint. Our value is based on our creator and the price that was paid for our salvation. Like a piece of art, the value increases based on the quality of the artist. We were created in the image of God by the creator of the universe for a specific purpose. How could we be anything but of the highest quality?

God’s Love Language

time Last week there was the rare event where Scott and I had a quiet night at home. As we were sitting in the living room watching some basketball game, I began quizzing Scott with questions from a FB quiz. After finding out what annoys him most and what makes him proud, we began talking about our “love languages.” This is a conversation we had several times when dating and many times with our children as they were going through their marriage counseling. Our Love Languages are almost in direct conflict with each other. Scott enjoys quality time together while I enjoy acts of service. In other words, I want us to be doing something (working on my “to do” list) and Scott likes to just sit and visit. Scott is great about helping me and doing things for me. I’m still working on sitting still and just spending time together.

Anyway, as we were having this conversation, I began to think about what Love Language God desires. I have come to the conclusion that God, like Scott, desires quality time together with us. For those not familiar with the 5 Love Languages. A person that desires quality time together enjoys one-on-one time and uninterrupted conversations. I think it is clear God seeks our undivided attention. “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.” John 4:23. God wants us to worship him and worship takes undivided time. You cannot truly worship someone while you are on your phone or watching TV. I am convinced one of the best ways to spend time with God, is to spend time in His word. This is how we are changed and how we become more like Him, and how he reveals Himself to us. Communication is two way, and God gave us His word to communicate with us for all of our needs. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17.

As I was thinking about God’s love language and the importance of communicating in the appropriate love language with those we want to please, I must admit, I was a little convicted. For example, the book I am currently using for my nightly devotions starts with 3-4 scripture references and then a page of reading that corresponds with those scriptures. Not a lot of time commitment involved to start with, but I often look at the 4 scripture references, choose the shortest and only read that one before reading the one page devotion that goes with it. What message does that communicate about my willingness to spend quality time with my Savior? That would be like Scott looking at my “to do” list, picking the task that would be the quickest or easiest and only doing that chore to help me out. While I’m sure I would appreciate any help, it sends the message I want to do as little as possible to please you. Can you imagine the response I would get from Scott, if I told him, “I want to spend quality time with you, but I don’t have time to talk about everything you want to talk about so pick one topic. That is all I can give you tonight.” I’m afraid Scott’s response would not be “Oh, thank you so much for the one topic.”

In Revelation 3:20, Jesus in his own words states, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” This is such a strong image of a person that desires quality time with another. I can remember when my kids were little and all I needed was just a few minutes of alone time in the bathroom. However, more often than not, one of them would stand outside the door and knock the entire time I was in the bathroom. Just as a small child seeks to be close to his/her mother, Jesus seeks to have time with us. The question is how do we respond.

Make the Most of Your Shelf-Life

Live it with a Purpose

pantry

For the months of June and July our offices work 40 hours Monday through Thursday and closes on Friday to save electricity. For each Friday I have off, I have selected an area of the house to clean/purge. The first week it was our file cabinet. I took three big shopping bags of paper to the shredders. Last Friday I tackled the pantry. I just don’t know how it happens. The oldest date I found was a box of pudding mix from 2008. It was pistachio flavored. I bought it to make a jello salad that never happened. I threw away items that had been in the pantry for several years and just reached their expiration date such as a jar of molasses. I can’t even remember how long I have had it. I use it about twice a year when I make ham and beans. I will have to get a new one now. There were also items such as a package of hot dog buns that had just recently been purchased for a Memorial Day cookout, but were already non-edible. Every item in my pantry was bought for a reason. I had a plan and purpose in mind for every item when I put it in my grocery cart. It is just that some items were used for their purpose and some just sat on the shelf until their time was up.

Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Like the items in the pantry, God has created each and everyone of us for a purpose. We are to walk in love, light and wisdom (Ephesians 5). We are to live a life that bares the fruit of the Spirit demonstrating love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22 & 23). “Above all, love each other deeply, …. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others” 1 Peter 4:8-9. Actually loving one another is such an important part of our purpose there are over 30 verses telling us to do so.

Back to the pantry. For all of the food I threw out that had not been used for its purpose, we almost daily use something from the pantry for the purpose it was originally purchased. What I wonder is am I living in a way where I can be used to my full purpose or am I just sitting on the shelf taking the path of least resistance?

It is obvious we as humans have a shelf-life just like the box of cereal or the bottle of balsamic vinegar. For reasons I can’t explain or even begin to understand, everyone has a different shelf-life. Some are born with a short shelf-life like Oreo cookies and can complete their purpose in life quickly while others, like a bag of rice, have years to complete their purpose in life. The question is are you making the most of the shelf-life you have been given? Are the fruits of the Spirit evident in your actions? Personally, I have some days that are better than others and some fruits that are more abundant than others. Kindness – for the most part, I am by nature kind to others. However, self-control is a topic for later discussion. It just doesn’t come naturally for me. No matter, I am committed to trying to live my entire shelf-life to the best of my ability as I can only do with God’s help. And with His help, I will not spend my life just taking up space on the pantry shelf.