Tag: pray

What You Don’t Know

 

Last Monday was a somewhat typical day for me.  I had to attend 3 meetings, make a short presentation and attend a board meeting.  I would like to think I pulled off the day with great success.  However, what if I told you my shoe was being held together by Gorilla Glue and could have come apart at any moment.   I probably shouldn’t tell you, but I will, that under my suit jacket, my shirt was partially unzipped because it was too tight and I couldn’t breathe with it zipped.  Looks can be so deceiving.  On the outside, I appeared to have my act together, but in reality, I was uncomfortable and tiptoeing gingerly with every step not to put too much strain on my shoe.

Life can be the same way.  We work so hard to put on the appearance that everything is perfect and we have it all together when it truth, that isn’t the case.  I have no doubt that many times we are sitting next to someone and thinking they have the perfect life while in reality we may have no idea what is going on.  It could be they had a huge fight with their teenage child that morning and are worried about how it is going to play out when everyone gets back home tonight.  It could be they have felt a growing lump and are trying to get into a doctor while every thought is filled with fear.  It could be bills are coming due at a higher rate than pay is coming in.

I have two points I want to make here.  The first one is for the girl trying to hold it together, but barely doing so.  I get that sometimes we have to “put on those big girl panties,” and hold it together to get a job done or know that we are just doing the best we can until something in our life changes.    I want to tell the girl is who is putting on this façade every day and pretending that everything is perfect that it is okay to let someone know.  You don’t have to hold it together alone.  Then to all of the other ladies out there who are admiring that perfect friend and trying so hard to be like them, this friend may not be as perfect as you think.  Really what your friend may need instead of your admiration is your kindness, or your willingness to listen.

I’m so thankful for a suit jacket and Gorilla Glue.  My day would have been a disaster without them.  What I pray is that as Jesus directed in John 7:24 that I “Do not judge according to appearance but judge with righteous judgment.”  That is I pray that I see others through the eyes of the Lord, not through my earthly eyes.  How is this possible?  Only through prayer and knowing the heart of the Lord.   Philippians 1:9 states “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment,”  This tells me that through prayer our love for others and the ability to see their needs can increase if we seek it.

What is forgiveness?

dillardsOkay, don’t judge, but I’m still reading on the book that I referenced several months ago.  It is a 28 day study of the Lord’s prayer.  Yes, I’m going on about 4 months working on this study.  This is partly because I have read some sections a couple of times, partly because I’ve set the book aside for days at a time, and partly because I have to divide up what I am to read each day.  Anyway, I’m to the part of the study pertaining to the line “Forgive our sins as we forgive those that trespass against us”  As I read this  chapter, I arrogantly began to make a mental list of all the people I have forgiven.  I was reminded of how I had been treated at various times in my life, how God had been faithful through those times, and how I was better off by going through those experiences despite what others had done to me.   After several minutes of patting myself on the back, I put the study aside for the night and went to bed.

While shopping a few days later, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a person that was on my list of those forgiven.  As soon as I saw this person, my stomach jumped up into my throat or my heart fell down into my stomach.  Whatever happened, my insides were a mess.  There was an obvious physical reaction to just seeing this person.  Being the strong confident woman that I am and because I have completely forgiven this person, I did what any normal person would do.  I ducked behind the clothes rack and moved from clothes rack to clothes rack until I was out of the store.

Driving home, it occured to me that maybe I haven’t forgiven this person to the degree I thought I had.  If my emotions when I saw this person were strong enough to cause a physical reaction, maybe I haven’t forgiven to the degree I need to.  This caused my mind to go all kinds of places.  As a matter of fact.  I have waited several weeks to write this because I don’t have the answer.  I have often heard, “forgive, but don’t forget.”  To me that has meant forgive someone that maybe has taken advantage of you, but don’t let them do it again.  Now, like I said, I don’t have the answers, but I know of a specific time when a co-worker would pawn work off on me.  Once, as I was praying and practicing how I was going to tell this person off  refusing to do her work anymore, I felt clearly corrected and reprimanded that I was to show kindness and was to continue helping her in as many ways as possible.  In reverse order to help with my current delima, I decided, when all else fails, go to the Word.

Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4 both give us direction concerning forgiveness.  “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.  And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31 & 32.  This first reminds me how wrong it is when I have wished for someone that hurt me to be equally or to an even greater extent hurt themselves.  I know this is wrong, and I have to control those thoughts.  I will admit the best way I have found to get those thoughts under control is to pray for the person who hurt me.  It is really hard to think evil against someone as you pray for them.

Aside from working on being kind and putting away my hate to the point where I don’t have to hide in the store, I want to focus on the last phrase in Ephesians 32.  “Forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you.”  When God forgives us, our sins are completely forgotten.  “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12.  “You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:19.  I don’t know that I can forgive like this.  As a matter of fact, I know I can’t.  Not me, not me alone.  To truly forgive in this manner, I will require God’s help.  I can’t say I fully understand how you forgive someone that has done something unthinkable to you or to someone you love.  I’m working on this, but I do think I am to the point where I won’t hide behind the clothes racks at the store in order to avoid talking to a person.