Yesterday started off as a better than usual day. When I pulled up to the window at Starbucks, I was informed my drink had been paid for by the person in front of me. You know, this act of kindness works best in a drive-through line. A couple of times I have been fortunate enough for a kind person to purchase my pop at 7-11. In these cases, it is always a little awkward. I first try to convince them it’s not necessary to pay for my pop. Then I thank them over and over, as they pay my bill, before walking out of the store usually at the same time and thanking them again until I get in my car. There actually is the ability to deny the acceptance of the gift, and there is no anonymity. However, at the drive-through window, accepting the gift is the only option. It is already paid for.
Forgiveness is the same way. It is already paid for and is there just waiting on us to accept it. This is true for everyone, but why then do we sometimes not accept the gift that was paid for and given to us? Maybe you say to yourself, “I will never do that again.” Like that makes it okay while only deceiving yourself. Furthermore, thinking you have the power in yourself to change the behavior. Maybe you choose to not accept the gift and just live with the guilt either because you think you are not worthy or you think forgiveness is meant not for you. My personal favorite is to just pretend something never happened. If it never happened, I don’t have to deal with it.
The directions for forgiveness are clear. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8 – 9). The word that gets me is “confess.” This requires acknowledging that I actually did something wrong. It requires that I admit I’m not perfect. This isn’t easy for me. However, if I never decided to get a Starbucks yesterday, I never would have received my free gift. We have to make a conscious decision to confess our sins in order to receive the free gift of forgiveness. Would you leave a gift under the Christmas tree, unwrapped and unclaimed? I wouldn’t! Don’t leave the freedom that forgiveness provides on the table just because you are not willing to confess or admit your mistakes.
I don’t know why it is, but stopping to get gas seems like such a waste of time. It is a task I put off to the very last minute. Partly because I have places to go, and partly because I want to get the most out of my fill-up by trying to create as much time as possible between stops. I have literally coasted into the filling station a few times. Once I I was concentrating so hard on just getting to the pump, I forgot to think about what side my tank was on. After I shut the engine off, I couldn’t get it to start again. I had to get some help to push my car to the other side of the pump.
Every three months Scott and I make the trek to the El Reno Cemetery to change the flowers on Jeff’s grave. It is a routine we have down to an art. When we were there the first week in September changing the summer flowers out for the fall flowers, we noticed several new graves in the area. We were back again the first week in December changing out the fall flowers for the winter flowers. As part of our normal routine, we were checking out the new neighbors as many of them had headstones up by now. Anyway, the whole time we were there, an elderly man was puttering around at one of the newer graves. He was making the motions of rearranging the flowers on the grave, but really never moving anything. I couldn’t stand it any longer and had to go over and talk to him. It was clear as I approached and looked at the new headstone, he was standing at his wife’s grave. I began the conversation by asking if this was his first Christmas without her. I learned he celebrated their 49th anniversary in November with out her and many other first that 
happen during the infamous year of first that happens after the death of a loved one. After we talked for several minutes, he asked me what I’m sure appeared to be the obvious questions, “is this your parent’s grave?” He was surprised to hear that it was my husband’s, but I pointed out Scott, who had been standing there the whole time. I said, “Look, God gave me a new one.” That created quite a laugh and then we were able to talk about living life after the loss of a loved one.
Last Friday I tackled the pantry. I just don’t know how it happens. The oldest date I found was a box of pudding mix from 2008. It was pistachio flavored. I bought it to make a jello salad that never happened. I threw away items that had been in the pantry for several years and just reached their expiration date such as a jar of molasses. I can’t even remember how long I have had it. I use it about twice a year when I make ham and beans. I will have to get a new one now. There were also items such as a package of hot dog buns that had just recently been purchased for a Memorial Day cookout, but were already non-edible. Every item in my pantry was bought for a reason. I had a plan and purpose in mind for every item when I put it in my grocery cart. It is just that some items were used for their purpose and some just sat on the shelf until their time was up.
View From My Shoes 