family – Page 3 – View From My Shoes

Just Trust

I’m learning that Google maps is more trustworthy than my directional skills. Maybe I should learn the same lesson concerning God’s plan.

driving Just recently Scott and I took a weekend road trip. For the majority of the trip, Scott was driving, and I took on the role of navigator. This is not my strongest skill. Don’t get me wrong. I’m great at giving directions. It’s just that my directions are not always great. I would put the destination into Google maps and off we would go until I thought I had a better plan than what was on the map. One time I told Scott to head down the highway for fifty some miles until we came to Hwy 271. In my mind I knew our destination is south or left of our current location. As we approached Hwy 271, it was a right hand turn or north. I told Scott to keep going because that couldn’t be the correct turn. Yes, we got to make a u-turn in about 5 miles and go back to the turn the map told us to take. The road only went north for a few miles before it headed back south. Another time, we were on a 4 lane highway with one-way side roads on each site. I had directions to the hotel pulled up on the map, but it was taking us way past the hotel and entering in on the back side of the hotel. As we approached the hotel, I could see it and there was an exit. I yelled for Scott to exit, he slammed on the breaks and headed for the exit. What do you know, we couldn’t get to the hotel from that exit without hopping over a couple of curbs and driving though the grass. My sudden change in plans took us to another highway and almost landed us on a turnpike headed out of town.

After a couple of days of this, Scott coined the phrase, “Just trust Google and tell me what it says.” Just trust Google? He was right more than once. How hard is it to learn this. It is so similar to the concept – Just trust God’s – how hard is that? When will I learn?

I find this the hardest when I can’t see immediate results. I think back to the two years it took us to sell our house and get moved to Edmond, more than once I questioned God’s plan and would try to develop one on my own. I also struggle when I’m not seeing the results I had in mind. This was evident when my kids were teenagers. For example instead of completely trusting God, who loves them more than I do, I would begin to doubt if morning devotions were worth the fight or if having a family scripture of the week was more for me or them. While I was praying and superficially trusting God, I would often think to myself, “This isn’t working.” God has a plan for us that is as clear as the blue line on Google maps. It is up to us to trust Him and follow the plan.

There are so many places to put our trust other than the Lord. Maybe it is your savings account that you trust for your future finances. Maybe it is your physical appearance you trust to create your importance. Psalm 20:7 explains this, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” Psalms is full of scripture on trusting the Lord, but the scripture that keeps me grounded is Proverbs 3:5 & 6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” We know that God’s ways are higher than our ways and we just have to trust Him. He has proven Himself over and over.

Win some – Lose some

chairs Just the other day, Scott and I were shopping for some furniture. Ironically I somehow found the most expensive chairs in the entire store without looking at a single tag, and Scott found every orange chair in the entire county. I reminded him that orange is not a color we decorate with and he reminded me of our budget. My point is, we find what we look for.

It has been heavy on my heart lately, that I’m haven’t been paying attention and allowing myself to be used by God as much as he desires. I get so caught up in work and all the events of life, that I don’t take time to put God’s plans first or take advantage of the opportunities or open doors He provides.

While I may have lost my argument on the chairs, I most definitely won by opening my eyes and paying more attention to the needs right in front of me. I challenge you to daily pray Psalm 25:4-5, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

As I am trying to take time and look for ways to share God’s story and God’s love, I find the opportunities are right in front of me all the time. I can’t wait to hear what doors God will open for you once you begin to ask.

What can you tell me about your God?

When you spend time with someone, you get to know them and can tell stories about what they have done.

Let me start with a story about how predictable someone can be, or should be, when you really know them. This was Scott’s birthday weekend and after volunteering all day at LoveOKC, I thought I would take him to the perfect place for dinner. It was Heard on file-15 Hurd in Edmond which is something we have enjoyed in the past. There are about 30 food trucks with greasy unhealthy food and a couple of live bands. This is right up Scott’s alley and the perfect way to end a birthday. What I forgot to take into account was the fact that we were starving from working all day and now Scott was not only faced with making a menu selection, but first he had to choose a food truck. If you know Scott, these food choices do not come easily. See, I should know this. I sit with him in the drive-through line as he mulls over the Wendy’s menu, the one that hasn’t changed in years, for what seems like an eternity as the kind worker awaits his decision. Sometimes they even come back on the speaker to make sure we are still there.

Back to Heard on Hurd, normally, we could take our time, check out all of the trucks and menu options, but we were famished. Time was at an essential point. After the second trip past all of the food trucks, I could tell we were in trouble. Luckily we found a factor that could limit our choices – the line length. We got in line at the truck that had the shortest line, yet enough of a line for Scott to choose between the five items on the menu before we got to the window. Problem solved and the food was great. The thought that Scott puts into every decision is something I love about him. See this also transitions to the thought he puts into buying me gifts and doing things for me around the house. Again, how do I know this? I know this because I see it in action during the time we spend together.

I am currently reading a study on the Lord’s prayer. It has reminded me of the importance of a relationship with Christ in order to effectively pray. We know the steps to the prayer Jesus modeled for us. It begins with worship and praise before moving into submission and petition. What has hit home the most to me is how do we worship or praise someone we don’t know or don’t have a relationship with? In the classroom, I was once given a list of kind comments to use for praising students. It was a great list, but I found if I really knew my students, I knew how to praise them with words that meant the most to them. I feel this has to be the same when we praise our Lord. If we really know Him, we can praise Him by reminding Him of what He has done for us, we can praise Him by calling out what difference He makes in our lives, or we can praise Him by telling Him just how much He really means to us.

Psalm 105 is a psalm of praise and gives us an outline for how to praise our Father. I’m going to put it in bullet points.

Give thanks
Call on His name
Tell others what He has done
Quote scripture to Him
Tell of His wondrous works
Seek the Lord
Seek the Lord and His strength
Seek His face evermore
Remember His works

Notice that seeking Him is repeated three times. That tells me how important it is to seek out a relationship with our Father in order to better praise him. In closing, I want to put a personal touch on the points in Psalm 105.

Thank you for always being there when I call out to You
You are my Jehovah-Shalom – God of Peace
You have provided for my needs in times when I didn’t think there was any way it would happen
You promised me in Matt 5:4 that “Blessed our those that mourn because they will be comforted.”
When I have trusted You with a decision, You have never let me down
I remember when you have even helped me with the smallest of problems such as finding my keys.

Take the time to praise our Lord in this way. See how many ways you can fill in the bullet points.

Get to know Him so closely that you can praise Him over and over again.

Are You Spiritually Stocked Up?

When moving I lost focus and didn’t keep our storehouse full. The problem is, I tend to do the same spiritually. I put our physical needs before our spiritual needs.

I didn’t realize how long it had been since I added to my blog. Let me explain in two simple words. We moved. It took a month to get everything packed up and now another month to get everything in it’s place here at our new home. We are finally to the point where we can take time to enjoy our new place and do something besides work. Now, I’m not immune to hard work. I’ve hauled hay, built fence, put in retaining walls… but those jobs are hard for one or two days and then finished. Moving is like the chore that never ends.

After about 4 days in the new house, we had all the boxes emptied and the surface was starting to look normal. As it approached supper time, I opened the fridge and quickly realized any sense of normalcy was surface only. We had worked to eat down as much food as we could before we moved, and then during the move we had been eating out for over a week. It was time for that to stop, but all we had to work with was a gallon of milk I had grabbed at Walgreens and the few items that did not get purged when packing the fridge where I threw away all expired food. Unfortunately, the pantry looked the same. It was time to make a major grocery run. refridgerator

The thing is, I had done the same with my spiritual storehouse. During the move not only had I neglected to purchase any food, I had been neglecting my time in the Word as well. I don’t get it. Scott is so faithful. Rain or shine, work or play, he gets up and spends time listening to the word and time in prayer. Yet, I am so easily distracted. I can always find something that needs to be done when I get ready to sit down with my Bible.

In John 6, we first read of Jesus feeding the 5,000. That is a story we all know from our childhood, but let’s take a look at what happened the next day. When morning came, the people began to look for Jesus. They were of course confused because the only boat missing was the boat the disciples used to leave in for Capernaum. They didn’t realize Jesus didn’t need a boat because he walked across the sea. Anyway the crowd took off in boats “seeking Jesus.” When they found him, they even asked how he got there. Jesus quickly changed the subject and took this opportunity to teach the crowd. He scolded them for following Him only for the physical bread he had provided, and offered they should follow him for the everlasting life He offers instead.

I am guilty. I often put our physical needs and comforts in front of my spiritual needs. I seek to keep the house picked up more than I seek to spend time investing in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Any book you read on relationships will emphasis the importance of spending time together.

I often tease my sister, mother of 4, that if the world is coming to an end, I want to bunker down at her house because she always has enough food on hand to feed an army. I can remember when Jace was in high school. I had to always be prepared to fix a meal for whatever group of friends showed up. I had to keep the fridge and pantry stocked.

Shouldn’t we be the same spiritually? We never know what life event might happen that will require a us to tap into our spiritual warehouse. The question is, will yours be full or empty?

Coming next week – Running on empty

Playing by the Rules

One of our favorite family pastimes is to play cards. I have so many memories as a child playing cards with my family. My dad was quite the card player. He could tell you any card that had been picked up and was certain to let you know if you weren’t paying attention and played into someone’s hand. We had the most laughs at the expense of my sister. She would pick up any face card whether it went with her hand or not. She just couldn’t let one pass by.

As a child, intense conversations focused around not paying attention or not playing smart, however, as a mother, my family found different points to argue. It usually centered around who was cheating. For some reason, my kids believed if you were winning, you had to be cheating. I will say with 98% honesty that I never cheated. Now, if you were not aware enough to hold your cards where they couldn’t be seen, that was your own fault and fair game. Other than that, I always played by the rules.

Playing by the rules is something I have done all of my life. I don’t know if I am just afraid to break the rules or if following rules provides order to my life, but I am a rule follower through and through. I even make up rules to follow such donuts are only allowed on Friday.

The problem is, I somehow began to put my trust in following the rules instead of in God’s grace. I think I got confused along the way and really believed if I followed all of the rules, nothing bad would happen or if I followed all of the rules, I would find favor with God. For the most part, the rules were biblical rules, but some were institutional rules. No matter, I followed them – all of them. Now don’t get me wrong, following the rules set forth in the Bible is the way to go. John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commands.” I would do it all over again. In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul writes, “As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God,” However, following the rules did not protect me from life.

I was extremely fortunate to live in the perfect “Polly Anna” world most of my life. Then my kids became teenagers and what do you know, they weren’t perfect. I began to ask questions and doubt my actions. How could this happen? We went to church every time the doors were open. We had family devotions every morning…. What rule had I missed that would cause this imperfection? After that, the unexplainable happened and cancer hit our family head on. I first wanted to ask why? or how? I had done my part, I had followed the rules. What I was soon to learn, was following the rules couldn’t protect me, but there was a God that could. Maybe you have been treated unfairly at work, been hurt by a spouse, or faced financial hardships. God might not keep any number of painful events from happening, but he would walk beside you all of the way. Psalm 55:22, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you.”

I had to learn it was really about my relationship with Him. It was about His love for me. It wasn’t about how many rules I had kept or broken.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are blessings and rewards for those that keep God’s commands. I James 20:25 confirms that if you are a doer of the word (follow the rules) you will be blessed in what you do. The problem is we can’t follow the rules just to receive blessings or just to be protected from the ugly part of life. We follow the rules because of our relationship with God and because of how much we love Him.

Maybe I should make up a rule about following rules. All I know is that we can never do enough to earn what God freely gives us.

God’s Love Language

time Last week there was the rare event where Scott and I had a quiet night at home. As we were sitting in the living room watching some basketball game, I began quizzing Scott with questions from a FB quiz. After finding out what annoys him most and what makes him proud, we began talking about our “love languages.” This is a conversation we had several times when dating and many times with our children as they were going through their marriage counseling. Our Love Languages are almost in direct conflict with each other. Scott enjoys quality time together while I enjoy acts of service. In other words, I want us to be doing something (working on my “to do” list) and Scott likes to just sit and visit. Scott is great about helping me and doing things for me. I’m still working on sitting still and just spending time together.

Anyway, as we were having this conversation, I began to think about what Love Language God desires. I have come to the conclusion that God, like Scott, desires quality time together with us. For those not familiar with the 5 Love Languages. A person that desires quality time together enjoys one-on-one time and uninterrupted conversations. I think it is clear God seeks our undivided attention. “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.” John 4:23. God wants us to worship him and worship takes undivided time. You cannot truly worship someone while you are on your phone or watching TV. I am convinced one of the best ways to spend time with God, is to spend time in His word. This is how we are changed and how we become more like Him, and how he reveals Himself to us. Communication is two way, and God gave us His word to communicate with us for all of our needs. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17.

As I was thinking about God’s love language and the importance of communicating in the appropriate love language with those we want to please, I must admit, I was a little convicted. For example, the book I am currently using for my nightly devotions starts with 3-4 scripture references and then a page of reading that corresponds with those scriptures. Not a lot of time commitment involved to start with, but I often look at the 4 scripture references, choose the shortest and only read that one before reading the one page devotion that goes with it. What message does that communicate about my willingness to spend quality time with my Savior? That would be like Scott looking at my “to do” list, picking the task that would be the quickest or easiest and only doing that chore to help me out. While I’m sure I would appreciate any help, it sends the message I want to do as little as possible to please you. Can you imagine the response I would get from Scott, if I told him, “I want to spend quality time with you, but I don’t have time to talk about everything you want to talk about so pick one topic. That is all I can give you tonight.” I’m afraid Scott’s response would not be “Oh, thank you so much for the one topic.”

In Revelation 3:20, Jesus in his own words states, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” This is such a strong image of a person that desires quality time with another. I can remember when my kids were little and all I needed was just a few minutes of alone time in the bathroom. However, more often than not, one of them would stand outside the door and knock the entire time I was in the bathroom. Just as a small child seeks to be close to his/her mother, Jesus seeks to have time with us. The question is how do we respond.

Dandelions

Weed or Flower?

Part One: dandelion

I started writing this and it just kept getting longer and longer, so I’m going to divide it up into three parts.

I got my love for a beautiful yard from my dad and Grandma Campbell. My dad took yard work to a whole new level. In the summers when my sister and I were old enough to stay home by ourselves, we had a chore list every morning that had to be completed before we could go down the street and play. It was very common for this list to include picking a sack full of weeds. Thus began my disdain for dandelions. To this day, if I see a dandelion blooming in my yard, I quickly pluck the bloom or seed plume off to make sure I don’t end up with 100s more.

It was just this week when I was visiting a principal that I noticed a bundle of dandelions wrapped in a damp paper towel lying on her desk. They were clearly a gift from a student. It is obvious this kind-hearted student does not view dandelions the same way I do. It is all a matter of perspective or personal point of view. As I drove back to the office, I had three different thoughts concerning dandelions.

Thought number one, how do you view those around you? Do you look at the people in your life and see flowers or weeds? It is so easy to quickly see others as weeds. I once worked with a lady, aka Sally, that talked all of the time. I would catch myself stewing over how much talking she was doing and wondering how she ever got any work done. I felt that way until we did a stakeholder survey. The comments on the survey over and over again mentioned how friendly and welcoming our office was. Why? because Sally talked to everyone that came through the door and made them feel comfortable. This same action that was driving me crazy, was really what made our office a welcoming place. It was all how I chose to view it – weed or flower.

What about you? How do you view that co-worker who gets on your very last nerve, takes credit for everything, does nothing, or gossips and keeps drama stirred up all the time. Maybe there is a flower there that is perceived as a weed.

Even more importantly, what about your family? As a semi-perfectionist, I often only see what is wrong. I will notice (even obsess over) the shoes that are left out before I give any thought to the kind words that were spoken that morning.

Luke 7:36 begins with a sinful woman hearing that Jesus is having dinner with a Pharisee. She goes to the house and begins to wash Jesus’ feet with her tears and then anoints His feet with oil. The Pharisee immediately saw this woman as a weed. She was a sinner, she had wasted an expensive oil. While there are multiple points to this story such as forgiveness. The point I want to make is Jesus looked past the “weediness” of the woman and saw her as a flower. I will admit I often take the path of the Pharisee and get preoccupied with the faults of others. It takes a conscious effort to look for the flower in everyone.

What you see or think is what you will get. Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” If you think of those in your life as weeds, you will treat them as weed. It is what you are putting in your heart. Your family and friends deserve better. We need to be like the child who picked dandelions for her principal. We need to look for the flower in those around us.

The Cleaning of the Vacuum Roller

Are you entangled in everyday life?

It all started as we were watching the Thunder game last night. I don’t know if it was exuberance or rage, but popcorn went flying across the floor. Enough so I had to drag out the vacuum cleaner. As I was sweeping, a rogue popcorn hull was just rattling around in the sweeper head refusing to move up into the canister. Thus causing me to do the unthinkable, turn the sweeper upside down to stick my hand in the sweeper head to remove the hull. Unfortunately, I found myself face to face with at least a year’s worth of thread, yarn and hair (oh the hair) wrapped around the vacuum roller. a forty-five minute task ensued. I began with a lone piece of yarn from a long ago kitchen rug. I just pulled on one end and it easily unwound. I then moved on to what had to be half a spool of yellow thread. It wasn’t so easy to remove. I resorted to the scissors. Finally I was down to just hair. Scissors proved to be unsuccessful ergo resorting to a razor blade. After quite some amount of work, the roller was freed.

Now keep in mind. The vacuum cleaner did nothing to cause this to happen. It was just doing its job sucking up debris from our carpets, yet still found itself wrapped up with shreds of waste. How true is this of our lives? At least mine. I get so caught up doing life, just living day to day, that I get wrapped up and entangled with all the meaningless details and distractions. I can get so wound up that I forget to focus on the purpose for which I was created. Maybe it is the pressures from work that you cannot leave at the office, but carry them home dragging around your ankle. Or could it be bills that seem to keep mounting up – not the bills from over spending that you created, but just the bills of living. Sometimes for me it is the time I spend on silly task like cleaning the vacuum roller instead of sitting with my family to watch the rest of the basketball game or the time I spend on FB and Candy Crush (true confession). I can get so wrapped up on daily tasks that nothing else seems to matter. There is a false sense of urgency that creates false priorities. They build up around me just like the hair on the vacuum roller and keep me from my quiet time, time I could spend ministering to others or time I could simply spend with my family.

Some of these entanglements are as easy to remove as the yarn from the kitchen rug. However, some are so deeply entrenched a razor blade is required for extraction. In Philippians 3:13 Paul talks about forgetting the past. Oh, and did he have a past. I think it would be safe to say, Paul was carrying around chains comparable to Ebeneezer Scrooge. Yet, he was able to drop them and move forward in a victorious life as designed by God. In verse 17-20 Paul calls us to join him and follow his example of living a life focused on Christ. He follows that with directions to take note of those that are focused on earthly things for they are headed for destruction.

How do we keep from getting wrapped up in the details of life? One thread at a time. Start small by making a commitment to drop one meaningless task for one task that God desires to be a priority in your life. I wish I could say I had this mastered. I’m probably the worst at putting God in second place to common house hold chores. In Luke 14-24, Jesus tells a parable of man who invited many to a supper, but the invitees had many excuses: plow the field, test oxen, be with a new wife. So, what did the master do? He sent his servant out to the highways and hedges to find guest that were willing to drop what they were doing and attend his dinner. As I was cleaning my vacuum roller last night, I realized I am often too wrapped up in my priorities to set them aside and focus on God’s priorities. I hope you don’t have to spend forty-five minutes looking at the underneath side of your sweeper to be reminded life should be lived for God’s purpose.