I don’t understand how the majority of the time I feel there isn’t anything I can’t do. As a matter of fact, I often get myself in trouble taking on jobs by myself when I really should ask for help. But, why would I ask for help? I can do it myself. I even catch myself refusing help because “I can do it.” Just this week I was moving the patio furniture out to power wash the porch. I was carrying four chairs stacked together. Scott saw me, and came over to help. Through gritted teeth, I refused the help replying, “I’ve got it.” Maybe it is stubbornness; maybe it is over confidence. No matter, 99% of the time, I think I can do anything that is placed in front of me.
The problem is 1% of the time this voice comes in my head and at the worst times. This voice tells me:
- You are in over your head.
- You are not smart enough to figure this out.
- You are not qualified to handle this challenge.
- Soon others are going to realize you are incompetent.
- I am bad mom.
- Scott would be better off with someone who gave him more attention.
The list goes on and on and is very convincing. It is a voice of lies!
I know I’m not alone. This voice of lies speaks to all of us. Even Moses must have heard this same voice. He expressed his self-doubt to the Lord four times in Exodus 3 & 4.
- He first asked the Lord, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? The Lord quickly answered, “I will certainly be with you.”
- Moses then made my favorite statement. “But suppose they will not believe me.” Suppose, how often do I suppose something – assume that something is true without proof or knowledge?
- Moses’ next doubt had some legitimacy which makes it easier to believe, “I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” The Lord tried to prove to Moses where he should put his trust. The Lord responded, “Who has made man’s mouth? … Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”
- He should have stopped there, discounted the voice of lies and headed out to do as the Lord had commanded. Instead, he makes one more plea. “Lord, please send someone else.” The beautiful part of this story is while the Lord was angered, He sent Aaron to be with Moses.
I have to say, Moses helps me feel better about myself.
The Lord is the voice of truth and has the answer to every lie that comes into your mind. While it is true that we cannot do some of the hard things in life alone, the rest of the truth is that we have this friend, Jesus, who has promised “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. Read that again. His grace covers our weakness. We can do anything he asks us to do. He will cover for us where we cannot do it alone.
Next time the voice of lies begins to creep into your thoughts, remember the Lord had an answer for every one of Moses’ doubts, and the Word tells us, “God is able to make all grace abound to you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” 2 Corinthians 9:8,
Your will be done. Really? Who says that? I tease our sons that the line from Princess Bride, “As you wish.” Should be their go to response for their wives. Whether you prefer “as you wish” or “your will be done,” submission is what the speaker of either phrase is granting someone.
Two different incidents prompted this blog. First, earlier this week when carrying in groceries, a bag began to rip. I caught it with my knee against the dryer and hollered for Scott to come to my rescue as my hands were holding several other bags. Just two minutes prior, Scott had been standing in the kitchen and should be readily available to come running at my beckon call. After escalating my calls for help, I realized, he must have moved to another location in the house and began to solve my problem on my own.
Yesterday started off as a better than usual day. When I pulled up to the window at Starbucks, I was informed my drink had been paid for by the person in front of me. You know, this act of kindness works best in a drive-through line. A couple of times I have been fortunate enough for a kind person to purchase my pop at 7-11. In these cases, it is always a little awkward. I first try to convince them it’s not necessary to pay for my pop. Then I thank them over and over, as they pay my bill, before walking out of the store usually at the same time and thanking them again until I get in my car. There actually is the ability to deny the acceptance of the gift, and there is no anonymity. However, at the drive-through window, accepting the gift is the only option. It is already paid for.
Scott is a good foot taller than I am. This allows him to not only reach things I cannot even come close to, but also lets him see things from a different perspective. This was proven at Christmas this year. I hid hints around the house to let him know about his Christmas present. The problem is I hid the hints at my eye level not his. They went unnoticed for days. This week I misplaced a receipt. I had looked everywhere for it. When Scott got home from work, I expressed my frustration. Later that evening, he was simply standing in the kitchen, he reached over and retrieved the receipt. I had spent hours looking for it. I would have never seen it there unless I was on a step ladder. (Which also tells me I wasn’t the one that put it there.)
How is it that what used to bring us joy and pleasure can over time be taken for granted or even more strangely turn in to an annoyance that grates on our last nerve?
A couple of weeks ago I determined to get my emails under control. This was spurred on after spending a couple of hours one day completely clearing out my emails only to wake up the next morning with 43 brand new, unread emails. For some of you, this would not be a problem at all, however, I fall into the group that cannot stand to have any red numbers showing up on my phone. I determined to take one week and unsubscribe to every email that showed up in my inbox that I didn’t want. So, instead of the normal 20 seconds it would take every morning to click and delete all of the unwanted emails, I opened each and every one and went through the clicks required to unsubscribe. Many of them required me to unsubscribe multiple times before it actually took. 
This Thanksgiving has been both wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time. For those of you that don’t know, 5 years ago, within six weeks, the three most important men in my life (at that time) passed away and rocked my “Polly Anna” world. First my husband of 27 years died at the age of 48. A few weeks later, my uncle whom I adored and admired passed away and then in the next month, my father unexpectedly passed away. For years, we had the best holidays ever. We all gathered at my Grandma’s and cooked, ate, hunted, played games, ate some more, laughed… They were the best of times. Everyone I loved was always there.
Okay, don’t judge, but I’m still reading on the book that I referenced several months ago. It is a 28 day study of the Lord’s prayer. Yes, I’m going on about 4 months working on this study. This is partly because I have read some sections a couple of times, partly because I’ve set the book aside for days at a time, and partly because I have to divide up what I am to read each day. Anyway, I’m to the part of the study pertaining to the line “Forgive our sins as we forgive those that trespass against us” As I read this chapter, I arrogantly began to make a mental list of all the people I have forgiven. I was reminded of how I had been treated at various times in my life, how God had been faithful through those times, and how I was better off by going through those experiences despite what others had done to me. After several minutes of patting myself on the back, I put the study aside for the night and went to bed.
On this little weekend trip that Scott and I took a couple of weeks ago, one particular night we ate at a local restaurant known not only for the amazing food, but more so for the quantity of food. We left the restaurant miserable. As we were driving back to the hotel, I mentioned that I needed to go walk or something in order to feel better. This came up in conversation right as we passed a Wal-mart. Scott suggested we just go walk around the store until we felt better. This idea was genius and one reason why I keep him around. As we were getting out of the car, I was focused on a meaningful walk through the aisles of Wal-mart. I described to Scott how we would attack the store one aisle at a time at a strong walking pace. I left my purse in the car, cued up my watch to track our steps, and began marching off our plan. About isle two, the distractions started. We were pacing through the pharmacy section when I remembered we were about out of toothpaste. I was able to grab the toothpaste without hardly slowing down. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of the distractions. We spent several minutes picking out a magazine. The kitchen gadget isle was extremely captivating. I’m too embarrassed to tell you how much time we spent in the Christmas section. By then, our pace and plan were gone and in reality, our hands were too full from the random items we were carrying to walk anyway. While our little walk did help, it also cost us over $60. to get out of the store. Thank goodness at least Scott had his wallet. The second reason I keep him around.
View From My Shoes 